I don't usually review movies but this used to be a TV show: Veronica Mars

Busy, but not too busy to make her hair look great.

First of all I'd like all of you to visualize a standing ovation to Rob Thomas, because that's what he deserves. That movie was perfection. I have this problem with having high expectations for things and getting my hopes up. For some reason, with this film, I broke my mold and kept my expectations at a medium level, and I was lucky enough to have them exceeded.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. STOP READING IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE. OR KEEP READING IF YOU LIKE SPOILERS. I WON'T JUDGE YOU EITHER WAY. 

I am going to attempt to not make this a lengthy synopsis...I'm gonna try to keep this solely a reaction piece, but I can't make any promises. The reason I'm late posting this review is because I wanted to watch it twice before writing about it. Yes, I bought it on iTunes! And yes, it may have been better the second time. 

So Veronica is a normal almost working gal living in NYC with her cute boyfriend Piz who works at This American Life. Sounds like she is pretty much living the dream of all of us millennials trying to find our place postgrad, right? The problem is, Veronica is not normal. As Jaime Lee Curtis pointed out, she was issued a private investigator's license at 18; normal people don't do that. And not only does she have a P.I. license, she was a damn good P.I. Yes, she made enemies and lost friends, but she also helped a lot of people in the shady town of Neptune, CA. The investigative thing is in her blood, which is part of the reason she jumped on the opportunity to go back to Neptune and help Logan.

How many hearts can we make flutter if we gaze at each other?

Logan, Logan, Logan. What can we say about Logan? My friend predicted that this movie would be
about Logan being wrongfully charged for a crime and him enlisting Veronica's help. He was just the perpetual troublemaker; the hothead with a good heart always finding himself in troublesome situations. Notice I said was. He is a changed man now; he stayed out of trouble for years and joined the Military, flying planes over Afghanistan. He fell for Carrie Bishop (yeah, Leighton Meester in season 1!), who became the popstar Bonnie Deville (why anyone would pick this as their popstar name is beyond me), and they were very happy together until she got to into drinking and drugs and he had to act more like her sponsor than her boyfriend. Does this sound like a murderer to you? Let me answer for you: no way. Logan is actually a really good guy now. Someone set him up. But who?
Of course, just like the audience, Veronica fell for Logan (again) the second she saw him in his Navy uniform at the airport. Don't worry; She didn't cheat on Piz (not saying she didn't want to)! Logan and Veronica spent the majority of the movie working together to exonerate him--cute banter and longing glances included.

cute but not epic

I'm not saying I don't like Piz...I actually really like him; he's cute and sweet and he cares about Veronica and her friends, but he's just not Logan. If anyone were to be her interim boyfriend, I'm glad it was him, but Logan really is good enough for her now, so when Piz broke up with Veronica teary-eyed over the phone, I was sad for a millisecond and got over it. LoVe was in the air because Logan pulled a bloody and near death Keith out of a busted up car right before it was hit again, then carried Veronica into her house later that night, took off her shoes, and tucked her into bed. Not only were we all crying at how perfect he is, but he perfectly demonstrated what we really knew all along: no one will ever love Veronica more than Logan. And that love was demonstrated in the following scene.*winky face* Oh, and their last scene together? Maybe I'm still a little sniffly about it. Their chemistry is electric, and their story really is epic.

So let's get to the mystery, shall we? I really appreciate the throwbacks to Neptune High with this mystery, but does anyone really stay this connected with their high school classmates? Would Bonnie Deville, international popstar, really date two guys she went to high school with? Turns out Bonnie's--who I will call Carrie from now on--murder is connected to the murder of her high school best friend Susan Knight (throwback to the introduction of these characters in 1x14 "Mars vs. Mars"). Susan died on Carrie's dad's boat, and of course, some other 09ers were on the boat with her: Dick Casablancas (who still lives with Logan, is still a great comic relief, and has gotten really hot), Gia Goodman, Stu Cobbler, and Luke Haldeman. Stu Cobbler technically killed Susan Knight by letting her OD, so he got Gia, Luke, and Carrie to dump her body into the ocean while he took their picture so he could blackmail them into secrecy for the rest of forever. The problem is that when you dump your best friend's body into the ocean, you are gonna feel remorse. So Carrie almost cracked and Stu killed her to shut her up. And he and Gia framed Logan. And then Stu killed Gia to shut her up. No thanks to Sheriff Dan Lamb ("do you think I should set a google alert for Sheriff Daniel Lamb?"), who may have been worse than Sheriff Don Lamb, Stu was finally brought in for his crimes.

Speaking of Dan Lamb, Neptune is in the worst shape ever. Let's pretend it's because Veronica left. The class war is out of control, the police station is totally corrupt, and--as we witnessed--Keith was in over his head trying to take down the sheriff on his own. Weevil almost got out, but we see him get back on his bike at the end of the movie...he has a daughter and a wife! He CAN'T DIE. WEEVIL! Okay, I can move on. I have confidence that the position of Sheriff will open up, Keith will actually win, and Veronica can take over Mars Investigations! All's well that ends well. Sort of.

Let's talk about everyone that did not fit organically into my review:

Look at this picture of my old haircut! It was bad, right?

Wallace and Mac: New haircuts all around! The sure fire way to show everyone you've changed!
Anyway, I always loved these two. They didn't have the biggest part in the movie, but they were important to illustrate in yet another way that Veronica literally left everything behind in Neptune... meaning she had everything to gain by coming back. Did Mac actually leave her swanky job at Kane Software to work at Mars Investigations or was she just helping out there at the end?

Deputy Sacks: I kinda love that he ended up being a good guy and I really hate that he had to die for it. R.I.P.

Sean Friedrich: Ew go die in a hole. I hated you whenever you were on the show, and your small, disgusting part in the movie only made me hate you more.

Della Pugh/ Ruby Jetson: This girl was funny and totally awkward. People with stalker walls are cray. I'm glad she didn't kill Carrie though, that would've been too predictable. I cannot blame her for her obsession with Logan Echolls, though. If I were sitting next to him, I would draw tiny hearts on his thigh, too.

Deputy/ Detective Leo: Be still my heart, Detective Leo. I love you. The scene with him and Veronica was perfect. I also really enjoyed the Veronica Mars, FBI agent mention! I'm so glad he is a big shot hottie detective and I hope he has a cute wife and kids.

Celeb Cameos: I saw you and enjoyed you James Franco, Justin Long, Dax Shepard, and Sue Heck from The Middle.

**P.S.: Remember Logan's hilarious answering machine messages? We got one at the end of the credits!
(please read this in your best internal douche-y season 1&2 Logan voice):
"This is Logan reminding you: if you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask which seat, just get on. Sheryl Sandberg said that. Don't leave a message. Go get on that rocket ship! Or leave a message; your call. Your decision will tell me a lot about you." 

You heard him! Go get on that rocket ship!