It was so cool of you to buy a load of me and have it sent to the Dolby Theater to be eaten by all of those fancy schmancy celebrities at The Oscars. They don't usually buy much of me on a count of their crazy Hollywood diets. Hell, Matthew McConaughey didn't eat anything while losing weight for Dallas Buyers Club, but he ate plenty of me when he gained it back! But still, it was so cool that I, pizza, the humble pie that I am, brought together the Academy in such a way that the Oscars have never done. For a minute, just a minute, everyone forgot they were competing for a stupid statue and remembered the most important thing in life: laughing over a slice of me. (Except for Leo, I'm sorry my greasy goodness could not satisfy your hunger...only an Oscar could do that...maybe next year...) So thanks Ellen, thanks for reminding everyone that pizza brings everyone together, and also when you are eating me off of a paper plate you look a lot more personable, and not so snobby, and maybe people like the girl who usually writes this blog likes you a little more now. My only request is that whoever hosts next year (Ellen again?!) will not order Chinese food for the academy...that's just insulting.
Love,
Pizza
P.S: Congrats on the coolest selfie of all time. The only thing that would've made it better is if everyone was holding a slice of me.
PPS: I do feel like my cheesy goodness is to blame for making John Travolta's mouth water so much that he could not say Idina Menzel's name. Or as he likes to call her Ihdgsj Mneresdg.
No comments:
Post a Comment