The Mindy Project 2x20 "An Officer and a Gynecologist"

He gives out tickets like it's candy, but we forgive him because look at him.

So sometimes it takes me several viewings of The Mindy Project to, not only catch all the jokes, but to fully digest my feels regarding Danny and Mindy. Also, on a second viewing I'm usually less focused on Danny and Mindy so I can enjoy other aspects (yeah I know I have problems). Think Like A Peter was not one I was itching to watch a few times, but tonight's episode was great; lots of laugh out loud moments, and plenty of delightfully awkward moments, too.

I don't even know how to caption this I'm too emotional

I think it's a good idea that Mindy swear off men for a bit (even if it's only one episode) because she has legitimately dated more guys than I think I've ever even met. But then again, if I was the creator and star of my own show, I would want to make out with all the hot guys I could, as well. That heartbreak box was perfect and filled me with a mixture of sadliness and happiliness, if only because of that picture of her and Danny. Also, how perfect is it that Morgan snuck some pictures of Danny and him in there as well, because they broke up too. Man, breaking hearts everywhere, Castellano!

Speaking of Danny and Mindy,  they were talking/flirting again this week and THANK GOD, because last week was torture. These two just have such a great chemistry together in every way--some sort of banter between them is necessary for a good episode. Also, I love it...don't get me wrong, but why does Danny always need to be "reminded" of how much he loves Mindy? He made those beautiful dreamy heart eyes at her throughout the entire episode, yet he still thought he was better off with Sally? I know he is scared of messing it up with Mindy and losing her forever, but why did it take the Rabbi saying it out loud for him to break it off with Sally?
Bye Sally, as I said I like you as a person (love you on Reba) but the finale's two weeks away and I have Ephron-sized hopes for it. 

Let me continue with Danny by saying that this was one of Chris Messina's funniest performances on the show to date. Almost everything he said was hysterical. From trying to nail down the Jewish lingo ("Don't listen to this [looks down at phone] meshuggener!"), to impersonating the terminator ("I'll be back"), to the whole Harry Connick Jew incident, Danny was just on fire tonight. I find it funny that Chris Messina doesn't think he's a good comedic actor--it actually seems to come very naturally to him, but maybe that's just because he's a great actor in general. And while I thought Peter and Mindy had a great chemistry, it's possible that Danny and Peter have an even better chemistry. I have really grown to love Adam Pally/Peter. I just wish the writers could come up with a way to include Jeremy in every episode, as well.
Finally, let's talk about Detective Charlie Lang. He's not a guy--he's a man! (A lovely callback to quite possibly my favorite monologue from the entire show, Danny's "was he a man?" speech from the Pilot). He's dreamy and tough; according to Mindy Kaling, he is supposed to out-Danny Danny. This, of course will drive Danny crazy, especially now that's he's broken up with Sally and ready to win Mindy back. But hey, fairytale endings at the top of the Empire State Building, on an airplane, in a doctor's lounge, or at an H&R Block don't come easy you know?

A couple of very important side observations:

-Morgan is Mindy's servant boy and I've never loved anything more.

-I would really like to know more about "Susan Robbins"--is that a series finale sort of reveal or can we get an episode that centers on Beverly's past?!

Game of Thrones 4x03 "Breaker of Chains"

While some episodes/arcs seem to race through time, I get the feeling that this season of GoT may move very slowly. Which is understandable, especially when they have an episode that touches on all of the major characters. I get the feeling Daenerys will be in Mereen for a while (seriously, is the last episode of this show gonna be like “Welp! We finally made it to King’s Landing! Dragons, kill everyone”?), and we may actually wait a fortnight for Tyrion’s trial.

Father/Daughter bonding time.

Let’s talk about warm, loving, and appropriate family environments; our subject today will be the Lannisters. When your oldest son is lying dead on a table, here are some things you should do: pray for him and your family, cry with your family, talk about memories involving him, etc. Here are some things you should not do: talk to the dead guy’s little brother about being a better king, raping your sister on/right next to the table where the dead kid is, threaten to kill the only sane member of the family, etc. I thought I liked Jamie at this point; I was willing—well, trying—to look past the fact that he sleeps with his sister and pushed Bran out a window, but he’s still as insane as ever. And he raped his sister. I know Cersei is manipulative and icky, but she didn’t seem to be enjoying herself. Still, Cersei is using Jamie’s devotion to her to target Tyrion and Sansa, and she’s twisting things to make Tyrion seem guilty.

Of course Little Finger was behind (at least some) of the attack on Joffrey. He is so manipulative—I’m actually terrified for Sansa’s safety right now because he had such a sick obsession with Catelyn. I can’t imagine why else he would go to all the trouble of poisoning Joffrey. I suppose we’ll see the rest unfold in the coming weeks.

      Things are bleak at Castle Black (oh man! See what I did there?). The wildlings are actually disgusting creatures taking over everything and there aren’t enough members of the Night’s Watch to take them on, but they’re still gonna take them anyway, because what’s 100 wildings for every crow, you know? And poor Tarly, Gilly, and little Sam. He loves her. He just wants to protect her, but he’s probably just putting her in more danger. Which is really sad; can’t they just go off and live in domestic bliss?

      While I thought Arya and the Hound were getting along with this fun little game they were playing to get free room and board, he had to go be a jerk and steal the nice man’s silver. That was a terrible thing to do, but he made a good point: they live in a corrupt world, playing by the rules won’t get you anything but dead.  But Arya is starting to get to the point where she could protect herself, and I would not want to be on her bad side.
      Finally we spent about 3 minutes with Daenerys. I do enjoy it when episodes end epically with her, but we never see her for more than a few minutes! Maybe if she got more than 15 minutes of screen time a season, it wouldn’t take her 10 years to get to King’s Landing. Anyway, Daario is a dreamy badass. I officially like this recasting. And how cool is it that shackles were in those barrels? Tie those scoundrels up, slaves of Mereen!

Scandal 3x18 "The Price of Free and Fair Election"

If we stare at each other intently maybe Jake will go away.

Damn I hate cliffhangers. I mean, I love them, but I hate them. Tonight's episode of Scandal was flat out the best one I've ever seen though.

Let's start small(ish). They're gonna kill off Harrison. Columbus Short has legitimately gone insane; I can't imagine Shonda keeping him around. It's like, remember when Robert Downey Jr. got fired off of Ally McBeal for getting back into the drugs (or at least getting caught for it) even though he was the best character on the show? Well Harrison isn't even the best character on the show, so I think we can expect a description of his death but no body in next season's premiere.

Turning into St. Sally was probably the best political move I've ever seen, and it was also kind of gratifying to see Cyrus' plan blow up in his face (bomb puns!). Actually, the best political move ever is having the incumbent's son die of bacterial meningitis the night before the election. Thank GOD Cyrus was not behind that. I wasn't surprised at all that it was Rowan; he's way too smart to go down without a fight, but I just wish Olivia knew she was (kind of) being played. I mean, I think she and Jake could totally go off and live in the sun together and they would be fine, but what about everyone else she loves? Fitz is literally having a breakdown. On the presidential seal in the Oval Office.
I realllly really love Fitz. and Mellie. It's so weird. Half of the time I find myself rooting for them, but
I love Fitz and Olivia. And I kind of ship Jake and Olivia. Basically I'm just so confused watching this show and I love every minute of it.
EXCEPT HUCKLEBERRY QUINN. NOPE. JUST NOPE. I hope he reunites with his family because that 7:52 episode was very tragic and also I hate Huckleberry Quinn (did you know that?).

These reactions are accurate.

I am so glad that Fitz found out about Big Jerry and Mellie. And he handled it in an honorable way. Yep, you stay with your wife who was raped by your father. Even after you give a sweet little speech to your girlfriend about wanting to marry her and live in Vermont (and again with the damn jam!). And I have to admit, I was kind of hoping that Fitz wouldn't win the election so they could all kind of wipe the slate clean. Also, even though he won, it still wasn't really a win on his own merit. Fitz still doesn't have the satisfaction of knowing that the United States voted for him based on his ability to lead.

BONUS PIC! To the right is a twitpic of Tony Goldwyn and Scott Foley's reactions after reading the finale script. 

With a set up this great, I'm sure season four is going to be awesome, and Kerry Washington won't have to hide behind strategically placed objects anymore!

The Vampire Diaries 5x18 "Resident Evil"

Ugh. This hurts me.

BEWARE: THIS REACTION IS PRO-STELENA AND KIND OF RANTY. 

The internal struggle: do I hate this show? Or do I love it as a whole despite all the little things I hate? I started this episode knowing it would be soul-crushing. I am a Stelena shipper; I will always be a Stelena shipper. I can't really see them ever getting back together, so it was nice to have one episode with some alternative reality fluff. They are actually so cute it makes me want to throw up, and Damon and Elena annoy me so much that it makes me want to throw up. I'm sorry that I'm so biased in my reactions of this show, I just think that Stefan and Elena are much better suited for each other and this constant recall of how things could've been if Stefan and Elena were "normal" is painful. What hurts the most is how upset these two were when the visions ended; everything about them was perfect. All they've ever wanted was to be normal and in love. Why wouldn't they give it another shot in real life? As Stefan said, when they were together, they were really happy.
I'm so glad that "universe" theory has been debunked, though. That was a load of crap.
Here's what I absolutely hated: Stefan told Elena, "I think you can either be friends with someone or in love with them, I don't think you can be both." I call bullshit on that one. I think the main criteria for being in love with someone is that you consider them your best friend. Yeah, maybe when you break up, the friendship becomes awkward, but I don't think either of those things just stop. I don't think Stefan is over Elena, and he's mature enough to be her friend. As usual, the nice guy finishes last. Yeah, he was a deadly ripper for 100 or so years but I feel like he's made up or that at this point.

While this season as a whole is slightly better than last season, it's possible that the traveler storyline is worse than the cure storyline. When Damon feigned that yawn while Markos was talking, he represented the entire TVD audience. At least every character is being utilized, though--maybe I'm alone here but I really like Tyler, and I hate it when he's randomly gone for 10 episodes. For some reason he's always turned into some sort of villain, but I suppose that's better than nothing. Also, how many times does Matt have to die before that ring stops working? Because I'm pretty sure he dies every other episode.

I'm ready for the season finale and we haven't even been introduced to the main conflict or the season climax. I'm sorry I'm just ready for a new storyline. I don't like Markos; he is not a lovable villain. I miss Silas. Speaking of Silas, Paul Wesley did a pretty good job with his directorial debut. I feel like it's totally obvious that he hates his job and the scripts so they let him direct an episode in an effort to keep him content. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Paul! 

Here's the promo for next week. It focuses on Enzo's relatively boring search for Maggie: 

Reign 1x18 "No Exit"

Troubling times in Fraryland.

Queen Mary, Queen Mary let down your long hair. Was that too cheesy? She is locked in a tower...and by her own husband! Francis may have a lot to learn about being a loving and protective husband, but I can see where he's coming from. Something is veeerrryy fishy about James and I am glad Mary didn't follow him back to Scotland. I mean, Mary's gotta go back there at some point because when you're the Queen of a country you should probably at least visit it every once in a while, but she needs to go back on her own terms.
I don't really think Mary and Francis can ever be truly happy together, because of their allegiance to their respective countries. They put country before love. Ugh it makes me so glad I'm not in politics.

Kenna and Bash are becoming a ship that I don't really wanna ship...but I kinda wanna ship...and I can't help it I just ship them anyway.  They have this nice mutual respect which has helped them form a strong friendship. I think this friendship could slowly turn into love. Part of me wonders if this is it for Bash and Mary shippers...like they are just phasing them out and phasing Banna? Kesh? in. But love triangles are The CW's thing, so I assume we haven't seen the last of Mash. But back to Bash and Kenna, they've had a pretty natural progression and I like it a lot. I can't imagine them leaving French Court anytime soon, but at least they have something to their name now.

Julian and Lola are very adorable. His speech about facing the uncertainty of the world together? Swoon. But he is obviously poor, and maybe an orphan, so I'm interested to see how his dishonesty will affect their relationship. Also, I love most of the music on this show but I could've done without the instrumental version of 'Royals' during their reception. So cliche...
And poor Nostradamus will never be happy for more than five minutes...but I assume this will not be the last we see of Olivia. Also, how cool was it when he cut the head off that snake?! (very Neville Longbottom-esque)

Finally let's talk about the Mad King. Henry is actually so insane that it cracks me up...a little bit in that I-feel-awkward-right-now-I'll-just-laugh sort of way but he's still funny, nonetheless. It was so smart of Catherine to push him over the edge with the crucifix symbolism. If he still has anything, it's his faith (and his sex drive), so it was diabolical (do we ever expect anything less?) of Catherine to pin any and all dark influence on Penelope. I can't wait to find out who these ghosts are that keep tormenting Henry. Was I mistaken or was the last guy we saw holding a tennis racket?

Here's the Canadian promo for next week's episode, "Toy Soldiers", I'll update later with a better quality CW trailer:

The Mindy Project 2x19 "Think Like A Peter"

More charming as Schmidt or Deputy Leo

Don't think like a Peter; think like a Mindy. Tonight Peter finally learned--while watching Mindy get crushed further in the process--that he can be kind of a dbag. I mean, I personally think that it is completely unnecessary for Mindy to get over Danny. He's not over her; let's patch this back up real nice and put a bow on it. But she was filled with sadliness, and I guess hooking up with Max Greenfield is an appropriate way to overcome that. The only thing is, Lee also thought like a Peter and if everyone thought like a Peter no one would ever have a stable relationship. So, think like a Mindy and leave your diamond earrings on your ex-boyfriend's night stand for him to return to you at the top of the empire state building during the season finale (*crosses fingers*).

Turns out Danny is also filled with sadliness. He wanted to keep his friendship with Mindy in tact but he ended up destroying it. So he gives terrible advice to Tamra and Morgan instead. Let their love bloom in that pantry, Danny! You have no room to be giving romantic advice. I was really hoping that he would come clean to Morgan about his relationship with Mindy...can you just imagine how he would react?! One of my favorite character traits of Morgan's is that he has this sort of obsessive love for Danny (don't we all?), and I can't imagine this fight lasting very long. Sally, you are just a rebound please go away. It makes me sad that I am literally incapable of liking any of Danny or Mindy's romantic interests, because I usually really like the actors playing them, but they are just in the way!

EDIT: Danny's been getting a lot of hate for how he broke it off with Mindy, but you have to remember how damaged he is. He doesn't think he can sustain a successful relationship. And Brooke didn't help encourage him either! He loves Mindy too much to break her heart, and he thought it would be easier on her to break it off early. It's good that both characters are getting some time apart to realize how strong their feelings really are for one another. Danny's going to learn from this and so is Mindy! Come on, every romantic comedy has a conflict!

Only three episodes left in the season. And it literally just came back. But I cannot wait for the finale, so that's totally fine. Fox is really lax about releasing promos so we probably won't get one til Thursday or Friday, so here's a video I made about Danny and Mindy last week because I'm a masochist.

New Girl 3x21 "Big News"

Careful Winston, the last man to sit on the Iron Throne choked to death on wine.

I cannot get over the weirdness of this break up. I mean, I know it's New Girl and everything is outlandish and silly and fun, but Nick and Jess were actually consoling each other about it! You guys obviously love each other just work it out! There is not enough justification in this situation (ahh too many long words!) for it to work...to be honest, Jess is pretty immature too, she just has a job. The Dirty Dancing references also just hurt too much because it just made me think about my favorite New Girl Scene EVER: when the boys sang "I've Had The Time of My Life" to Jess in the Pilot. Nick and Jess singing "Hungry Eyes" at the end was just a poor imitation.
I am so glad Winston passed his Police Academy exam, because I honestly can't handle the weird storylines he's had lately (mainly involving Ferguson the cat). I think he could be a really funny cop, and it will be hilarious to see his roommates try to take advantage of his connections. As long as he gets to keep the job.
Schmidt remains my favorite part of this show. Everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious...which can usually make up for a relatively mediocre episode. Don't get me wrong...I still enjoy this show. I just think there is such a thing as too silly, and this show has crosses that line often.

PS: Can someone please throw me a honey roast I need the self esteem boost.
EDIT: My best friend saw this and actually wrote me a honey roast and sent it to me in the middle of the night, so when I woke up this morning it was the first thing I saw. Isn't she just the best?!?!

Game of Thrones 4x02 "The Lion and the Rose"

Her hair is almost bigger than his head.

I should be so happy about this. I really should but I can't, because Tyrion has already been implicated for it. Joffrey is such a bieber (this is my word for an adolescent boy who is an ignorant little sh*t); I have been hoping for his death for 32 straight episodes--just imagining the different gruesome ways he could die...I was not expecting this and I was not expecting this reaction. I really thought I would be giggling with excitement. Maybe when it sinks in tomorrow I will be, but right now all I can think about is Tyrion. During the "war of the 5 kings", I turned to my roommate and told her how much I love Tyrion and Sansa, and their attitude towards everything in King's Landing. Their faces (along with Margaery, her grandmother, Pycelle, and Oberyn) reflected the complete disdain in Joffrey that everyone should have. I think that's why I love Tyrion and Sansa together--just as friends, at least?--they are both prisoners of King's Landing who deserve so much better, and they just deal with it. They know they are better than all of it too. They could bond over so much if Sansa could let go of the fact that he is a Lannister and an imp.
ALL HAIL QUEEN MARGAERY. I love her so much, but will Cersei try to find a loophole and be Queen again? I mean, she's delusional and still thinks she's the queen anyway. Also, of course she writes off Jamie (who gets hotter every episode, right? Does that make me gross?), but then thinks she owns him again when she finds out Brienne has feelings for him.
I cannot believe what has happened to Theon. I mean, I can, but I got really emotional (I didn't cry, but it hit me hard) when we saw him in the first scene. He really has been broken by Ramsay Snow (do all bastards have the last name Snow? Can someone help me with this?). I used to hate Theon but he has really paid his dues now. I hope his sister comes and literally murders everyone, and like, gruesomely murders Roose Bolton and Ramsay. And then goes home and murders her father. That would be satisfying.
And Bran touched a tree and basically got a recap of the entire show in his head. Now he knows where to go to begin to fight the White Walkers (I think?). Which is good because no one believes they're coming, and they are just gonna kill everyone in the middle of the night, and this show will become Game of White Walkers.

Here's the promo for next week; Daenerys and Jon Snow are back and we still get to see what happens with Tyrion (maybe): 

Scandal 3x17 "Flesh and Blood"

On ABC, assembling a bomb is very glamorous.

Holy frick how does Shonda do it? amirite? I cannot believe the craziness that went down on Scandal this week. I didn't think Cyrus could get any more evil than he already is, but boy was I wrong. Really? Allowing a church full of people (including Fitz's VP) to die just to get rid of the competition? What a coward. I mean, he's an incredibly well written villain...because technically he works for the good guys, but he only looks out for himself. The second Olivia and Fitz aren't in his best interest he will take them down too (just as he has almost done several times). I don't know why  I didn't guess that the bomb would be in the church all along...why else would they even discuss this guy's death in such an event-filled hour?

Comparing Olivia's love life to her mother's was an interesting move. It's almost bringing light to the fact that Olivia may not deserve that white hat as much as we are supposed to believe. She has done so many bad things (along with the good) and one of those things is stringing along Jake, all the while being in love with a married man (who just happens to be the POTUS). Hopefully, realizing these similarities, and seeing what happened to the husband and the lover will help Olivia actually choose between Jake and Fitz. She can see herself with both, but she's not in love with Jake. She can't string him along. She's either gotta let go of her affair with Fitz (which means he's actually gotta let go of her) or she needs to let go of Jake. What makes it harder for her is that both of these men are determined to have her. Jeez what a dilemma two sexy men want her ugh I hate TV (just kidding I love it so much).

Now let's move on to the most disgusting thing of my life: Huckleberry Quinn. Thinking about them makes me want to vomit. Yeah okay maybe the car sex was kinda hot if you pretend neither of them were involved but they were. And Charlie was just off by himself being in love with Quinn, and he's much better for her because he didn't lick her, strip her, then torture her. Or you know, spit on her, then lick her. Okay I am just so grossed out. I know what Shonda's doing though. Both Quinn and Huck are severely disturbed...like really sick. So they have this gross attraction to each other. It's really rough and disgusting and I guess some people find it sexy. But I don't like Huck; I like Charlie, and I think Quinn is better off with Charlie. Huck turned Quinn crazy to begin with so I just don't like it no one can persuade me otherwise. Sorry that was rambly and ranty but my thoughts involving these three are that way.

Finally let's talk about Queen Mellie. I am so glad Olivia knows about Big Jerry. It's just so heartbreaking that Mellie has had to keep that a secret for so long. She could never tell Fitz because of their volatile relationship. Also, how do you tell your husband that his dad raped you, and your son may not be his? Ugh it's just so terrible. Mellie is so strong and smart and more than anything, I appreciate that Olivia recognizes that. As much as they hate each other, it's apparent that they respect each other. If they worked together they could run this country through Fitz (in a way they already do)!

Next week is the season finale and it's gon' be the bomb! (too much?) Here's the promo:

*PS: sorry it took me forever to write about this. I have no good excuse.

Reign 1x17 "Liege Lord"

Never a shortage of fab dresses and headbands on this show.

So here's what I got out of this relatively un-entertaining episode of Reign: Mary is becoming a badass bitch! Mary has spent this entire show trying to combat the people trying to tear her down--but she's been kind of afraid to get her hands dirty. Tonight, she proved that she's willing to do whatever it takes to protect Scotland--even if it means putting Scotland ahead of Francis. I keep wondering how the show will progress after Francis' death (if they follow history and/ or if the show makes it that long)...will they just follow Mary being an awesome queen? She lived a pretty scandalous life, so I know there's plenty more material to work with there. Also, Adelaide Kane can be sweet, caring, strong and intimidating all at the same time. And she's stunning. What a gal.
King Henry is officially just making me laugh at this point. Like, where are they even going with this? I read that he actually died as the result of a jousting accident...are they gonna kill him from this instead? Or is he gonna go on a mad jousting rampage? I don't even know.
This brings me to Kenna and Bash. I don't know if you guys know this but Bash is just like the dreamiest guy ever. He's such a good husband--even to a girl he doesn't like. The way he spoke of protecting Kenna from Henry was so sweet. I am kind of half-shipping them at this point. Like, obviously nothing can happen with him and Mary right now, so I wouldn't mind if he hooked up with his wife. I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to a little bit of happiness for a guy that has none. And this episode also restored some respect in Kenna that has been missing for most of the season.
And Lola finally found a solution for her bun in the oven in Lord Julien--He's afraid to make kids of his own, and this way he still gets an heir! These two seem like a cute couple--hopefully things work out there. But happiness doesn't seem to last long at French Court. 

Here's the preview for next week's Reign. Looks like more trouble's ahead in Fraryland.

I Will Go Down With This 'Ship: Couple of the Week

I love that cliche "girl doesn't know the guy is staring at her" thing.

You know? As of right now, I would not go down with this ship, but I really really enjoy them, and I can see myself--maybe one day--having uncontrollable feels for them. But they're just getting started, you know? Romantic stylez. Who am I talking about? Jake and Amy on Brooklyn Nine-Nine!
This show is, sadly, officially on it's summer hiatus, but Hulu has just locked down exclusive rights to the show, meaning you can watch the entire first season with a Hulu Plus subscription, and I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it.
Anyway, back to Jake and Amy, they were hinted at from the very beginning because of a bet where if Jake won, Amy had to go on a date with him. But any romance was put on the back burner for the majority of the season and I almost forgot there was any possibility of romance between them at all. That is until Jake won the bet and took Amy out on a purposely terrible date. All of the sudden, out of almost nowhere, we started to realize that Jake actually maybe has real feelings for Amy--and maybe Amy even has some feelings for Jake. For the remainder of the season, we saw Jake (kind of) pine for Amy. Not that Jake Peralta really pines...it was his version of pining. And the season ended with Jake admitting to Amy that he wished they could've given it a go, then he left the precinct for 6 months to go undercover for the FBI before letting her respond.

They've mastered that effortlessly cool mix of formal and casual.

I love how slowly the writers have built up this relationship--they started as friendly adversaries who respect each other's work, and turn into great friends and partners. It just seems very natural. They are very reminiscent of Danny and Mindy in that respect, actually. Which could mean that in season 2, the writers could push them together full speed ahead. All I know is, I'm excited to see how Amy will respond to Jake's feelings and if he will actually spend 6 months away from her and the rest of the Nine-Nine!

Because the relationship has been pretty slow to start, I'm just gonna point out some of my favorite episodes of the first season. I'll put a star next to episodes that actually advance the Jake/ Amy storyline.
1x01 Pilot
1x07 48 Hours
1x10 Thanksgiving
1x13 The Bet*
1x15 Operation: Broken Feather
1x16 The Party
1x18 The Apartment
1x19 Tactical Village*
1x21 Unsolvable*
1x22 Charges and Specs*

The Mindy Project 2x17 "Be Cool" and 2x18 "Girl Grush"

Okay sorry I think I just needed time to digest all the feels. 

#coolerthanu

When I found out that Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen wrote Be Cool I got so excited...what a dream team, you know? But I was also really anxious because I knew Danny and Mindy were breaking up in this episode, and I just didn't know what kind of feels to expect. Should I be drunk during this? Should I take a sedative? I ended up watching Will and Grace and eating cold pizza to relieve my anxiety. I honestly didn't expect for it to be one of my favorite episodes of the show thus far! The beginning montage with Danny and Mindy dating in secret was so cute, and honestly, the break up was sad, but it was probably my favorite scene ever with the two of them. It didn't really feel like a break up at all; it felt like the first time they were truly honest about how deeply they care for each other, which will only bring them closer together. I, for one, am ecstatic to see a pining Mindy for once (which is what MK said we're getting for the rest of the season). For the entire series, I kind of thought Danny's feelings were not reciprocated, but we are finally getting to see how much Mindy cares for Danny. He needs to see how much she loves him, because that's where most of his insecurity lies. 
Peter also proved to be an actual nice guy in this episode by: 1. shipping Mindy and Danny and 2. helping Mindy during the party, and even becoming a better guy because of it. I have grown to love Peter so much. If anyone told me after his introduction in "Music Festival" that he would end up being one of my favorite characters, I would've laughed in their face.

Now onto Girl Crush which was, following "Be Cool", lackluster. If you didn't already know, "Girl

seriously. why is she terrifying?

Crush" was shot before "The Desert" was even written, so aside from a few reshoots (i.e: the cold open), the continuity just seemed off. A few things bothered me: 1. Mindy's annoyance with the Shulman and Associates, while at times warranted, was too reminiscent of the season 1 episode "Two to One" 2. Anna Gunn really scares me. Don't ask me why; I don't even know. and 3. It's hard for me to believe that Danny Castellano--the perfect male specimen--would expend any energy flirting with Sally Prentice. Yes, JoAnna Garcia Swisher is totally adorable and I love her, but her character is kind of icky--well so far at least. This is also where the continuity is bugging me again...it seems really insensitive of Danny to move on with a girl so quickly after the break up.

Both episodes succeeded in basically reintroducing Jeremy back on the show. Don't get me wrong, I love how heavily Peter has been featured, but Jeremy has been M.I.A for, like, half of the season. Also, Betsy being in love with Danny is probably the best storyline to happen to her--she exists solely to pop in the occasional one liner, and I can't think of anything better than one liners about Danny's muscular form and overall dreaminess.

Next week should be great, the continuity should seem right again and Max Greenfield guest stars, the only sad thing is that we're back to one episode a week. 9:30.

Game of Thrones 4x01 "Two Swords"

Maybe she should watch "How to Train Your Dragon"

I apologize for the late review, my friend and I like to watch the show together and we didn't get a chance until tonight...which seems okay since HBOGO crashed last night anyway!

In "Two Swords" we were introduced to a plethora of new characters and a new city for Dany to demolish. Let's get right into it!

Golden hair, golden hand
If you want to be a miserable human being surrounded by breathtaking scenery, move to King's Landing! Anyone who is not miserable (Joffrey) is delusional. It is such a testament to the writing on this show that Jamie has become a likable character, after everything he's done. I sympathized with him when he was pushed away by Cersei (does that make me icky?)--who may be the only reason he stayed in King's Landing. Another may be that he wants to prove he is still a Knight...hey, maybe he'll get to kill another mad king (you know what I mean?).
Sansa is straight up pitiful. This poor girl has been broken in every way; I think that seeing the Knight turned Fool believe in her may give her some strength...I think she'll wear that necklace with dignity. And I stand by my belief that her marriage to Tyrion isn't such a bad thing; he is a good man. I think he may actually be the only good man in King's Landing. But I know from previews that he ends up in shackles at some point so we have that to look forward to.
The biggest (I assume) new character we were introduced to was Oberyn Martell. He's a highly sexualized prince with an anger issue directed toward the Lannisters, and he's coming to the Royal Wedding. I assume more Lannisters will be lost before the season's over as long as this guy sticks around.
Needle Returns
While I figured we would picked up with Arya and the Hound facing the repercussions of her calling Valar Morghulis, instead they ran into a batch of hooligans (yes this is an appropriate name for them, I think). Arya proved herself as a cold blooded killer to the Hound by killing three men without even breaking a sweat. One of these men stole Needle from her and killed Lommy...so she stuck Needle straight through his throat (I keep wanting to type Mr. Pointy...I suppose it's because Buffy and Arya are both badass bitches). Here's the lesson kids: kill three men, get your own pony!
Let's Talk Strategy
What a seamless transition into the new (more likable) Daario--he's so flirty with Dany and I kinda love it (but let's be real: no one can replace Khal Drogo). Dany, Jorah, and her army of freed slaves are on their way to Mereen, the mother of all slave cities. It is so terrible, in fact, that a crucified slave child sits at every mile marker to the city for about 150 miles. Jorah could've had Grey Worm go ahead and take the children down before Dany saw them, but she said leave them. It fuels her hate fire. It fuels mine too; I can't wait to see Khaleesi's army take this hellish city!
Snow Knows
Castle Black is mad at Jon Snow, he could've been beheaded but it turns out he was actually doing some recon when he was in with the Wildlings, not just sleeping with Ygritte (still so bitter about it...why couldn't it have been me?). An army of 100,000 is coming to take the Wall and the Night's Watch needs to be ready. We'll see if they actually are, or if there stubbornness will keep them from being able to protect themselves.

Next week appears to be the Royal Wedding and the largest hairdo I've ever seen on anyone.

GAME OF THRONES. GAME OF THRONES. GAME OF THRONES TONIGHT!

HBO 9PM.

Season 4 promo: 

and here's my season 3 video became I'm a shameless self promoter:

Scandal 3x15 "The Fluffer"

Work the white, Abby! You look good!

Holy Shiitake Mushrooms. That was insane. As much harm as B613 has caused, I never really thought it was in the Gladiators' best interest to take it down--they provide safety for the country too...as we saw in the last 2 minutes, not to mention they have so much hidden power. But Jake is legitimately drowning in the responsibilities of Command...he's such a good guy, but he is lost in the corruption of dirty politics. I hate that he killed James, but I don't hate him for it...does that make any sense? Hate the action, don't hate the man. While I've been generally Team Fitz (because I would like to marry Jake) something about him and Olivia standing on either side of the door made me weak--this is such a cliche romantic set up though...I guess it did what it was supposed to do? Part of me really wants Olivia and Jake to find a way to live "in the sun" together. But then we've also got Vermont with Fitz. Two unattainable goals with relatively unattainable men; what's a girl to do?
I Love Mellie; when she stood up to Fitz at the end of the episode I got so excited--Fitz has been acting like such a pig. I understand that his pride is wounded, but he has actually been cheating on Mellie for years. She deserves love and attention. The scene where she picked up his ties off of the floor and set them gently on the bed was heartbreaking. She's gone through so much for him and gets no credit whatsoever. She is mistreated by everyone, except Andrew. I am choosing to believe that this show will end with Mellie as President and whatever man she wants by her side.
I didn't review last week's (not because it wasn't amazing--I just got busy and forgot, sorry) so I was not able to express my utter disgust in Huck and Quinn. Just ew. I really don't want anything else to happen with them, partly because I actually really like Quinn and Charlie. There is something so appealing about a seemingly emotionless guy who falls hard for a girl (come on, I'm not the only one who feels this way!)--so I really like how much Charlie likes Quinn, but I have no idea how much she likes him. Quinn is still such a mystery. A lot of people don't like her, but I think she is one of the most interesting characters on the show.
And let's end it with the Pope family--a modern family of murderers and criminals! Talk about a hostile dinner. Anyway, Marie Wallace seems to be on the verge of blowing up The White House for some reason or another. Would someone please just kill her? I really don't find anything about her interesting or appealing.

See you next week after The White House (obviously) does not blow up.  

Modern Family Gif Highlight: 5x19 "A Hard Jay's Night"

The last time I did this I included like 15 gifs and it took forever (I'm still in school, I don't have forever to derp around and make gifs) so this week I did not gif the Jay/ Claire storyline and only a little of Manny/ Luke. I'm sorry, Jay and Claire are relatively un-amusing on their own, so together that makes a dull storyline.

Phil shampooed in college to pay for his cheer gear 

Manny: Potato chips, please!

Whenever Phil and Gloria have storylines together--or even just scenes together--it's comic gold. This week's situation of them working at a beauty parlor for a day was no exception. 






Luke wants to go to a party, and Manny would rather stay home for Jay's party. Why? Because Manny was invited and Luke wasn't. Oh 9th grade what a physically, mentally, and socially awkward year.

if only you could here his voice right now

 Cam's Dad made them the worst topper ever (made out of soap, to boot). Well maybe not the worst topper ever, but it made Mitch look like a bit of a pansy--which he hates. Soap carvings--I didn't think that was a real thing?

I would officially like Phil Dunphy to shampoo my hair from now on. Where do I go for this service? This guy is a man of many talents: real estate agent, director, shampooer/ psychiatrist. etc.

And Mitch looks like Paul Bunyan! (??)

In an attempt to get rid of the soap thing, Jay gets Stella to bury it in the backyard. Nice try, but aren't we supposed to be honest with our partners? No matter what?

hairdressers know all sorts of secrets

Phil helps Gloria realize that she's not 100% ready to let go of her old life (get rid of her old apartment). These two! It's funny that their significant others are my least favorite characters. I guess that just proves that all four of them have one thing in common: the kind of personality they're attracted to!

Listen up kiddos, if your mom or dad ever asks to wash your hair 1. be weirded out and 2. know it's a ploy to open up and keep those secrets locked!

  

*EDIT: I realize that I spelled hear wrong. I am embarrassed.                                                                                     

I Will Go Down with this 'Ship: Couple of the Week

Story time: When I was just a wee babe (like 12) I started watching the show Smallville because it starred the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on: Tom Welling. Almost instantly, I fell in love with the coupling of Clark and Lana. About 3 weeks into loving this show and Clana, I'm fangirling to my mom (before it was even cool okay?) and she goes: "You know he ends up with Lois Lane right?" My response was: "What? Oh maybe she won't ever be on the show though because this is about Clark Kent in high school." I tried to play it cool but this gif of Buddy the Elf appropriately illustrates what was happening in my head:

Don't get me wrong, I love Clark and Lois, when they finally started flirting (a lot) in season 8 I was like yes! bring it on. But my first "ship" ever was Clana. I was insanely obsessed with both of them. I wanted to be Lana and I wanted to date Clark, but I also wanted them to get married and be happy forever.
Alas, Smallville may be the angstiest show ever so we got a total of like 5 minutes of happiness with these two the entire 8 seasons Lana was on the show. You know the whole 'I will go down with this ship' thing? yeah um it originated here. White Flag by Dido is actually playing while all of our shipper hearts are being broken in half.

Hold on I just need a minute......I know what you are thinking: why the hell do you like this couple that causes you so much pain? You know what? I don't even know okay I guess I'm a masochist.
Lemme do the math here real quick: Clark and Lana are "together" for approximately 35 of the 161 episodes Kristin Kreuk was on the show. That means that for about 80% of the show, Clark and Lana are either fighting, pining for each other, or both. The definition of star-crossed over here, amirite?
I have to admit, as much as I generally love the writers of this show, I will always be mad that they built up Clana as such an epic couple, only to tear them down. And SPOILER ALERT: these two were so incredibly in love with each other that there was no way they would ever just break up, so Lana's last appearance is the result of a dirty trick by Lex where she absorbs a ton of Kryptonite and can't go near Clark without making him sick. Not only does that make me feel cheated, but it should make die hard Clois fans feel cheated as well because he didn't officially "choose Lois", Lana just stopped being an option. I'm sure this opinion is controversial, but that is how I interpreted it.

If this pain sounds appealing to you, here are some of my favorite Clana episodes that may be worth watching. Then again, this show is confusing out of context so you may just wanna watch the whole show (IT'S SO GOOD.)

1x01 Pilot
1x05 Cool
1x10 Shimmer
1x15 Nicodemus
2x02 Heat (one of my favorites!)
2x04 Red
2x11 Visage
2x21 Accelerate
2x22 Calling
2x23 Exodus

3x01 Exile
3x02 Phoenix
3x03 Extinction
3x04 Slumber
3x06 Relic
3x17 Legacy
3x21 Forsaken
4x08 Spell
4x15 Sacred
4x18 Spirit
4x19 Blank
4x20 Ageless
4x22 Commencement
5x01 Arrival
5x02 Mortal

5x03 Hidden
5x12 Reckoning
6x12 Labyrinth
6x13 Crimson
6x14 Trespass
6x15 Freak
6x16 Promise
6x19 Nemesis
6x22 Phantom
7x03 Fierce
7x20 Arctic
8x12 Bulletproof
8x14 Requiem (Lana's last episode)

That's so many episodes eeshk I'm sorry. But honestly this show is so great but it hits you right in the feels.

The Mindy Project 2x15 "French Me, You Idiot"/2x16 "Indian BBW"

I'm horny for your kisses but lemme go give my bf this crappy eulogy first.

Finally! I'm actually getting a chance to write about new episodes of my favorite show on TV right now (so I guess it may be a little biased? sorry). I've fangirled out of control waiting for this show to come back, and just dreamed of the different things that could happen between Danny and Mindy after that steamy airplane kiss. I'm happy to say these episodes wildly exceeded my expectations.
Let's start with "French Me, You Idiot". By far, one of the best episodes of television I've seen in a long time; we pick up directly after the kiss. It turns out Mindy has the hots for Danny too, but Cliff is hanging out in front of her aprartment with a Mariachi band playing In Your Eyes . CLIFF DAMNIT. Glenn Howerton is fun and cute, but I will not miss Cliff; he was just an obstacle in the Danny/ Mindy relationship. How hilarious was the eulogy though? I wouldn't have expected Mindy to be that terrible of a writer. The whole "insert Cliff's grandma's name here" bit was real fun.

How dare you, Chris Messina.

But really, let's talk about the only thing we're actually thinking about. Danny and Mindy. Mindy actually said "I'm horny for your kisses" and "French Me, you idiot" like any sane woman talking to Chris Messina would say. Of course, Danny couldn't resist and they set a church on fire. But, you know, that was an honest mistake...not a sign from God...I refuse to believe that God doesn't want these two together.
Now onto "Indian BBW", also one of the best episodes of television I've seen in a long time.
Mindy wants to take it slow (because she looooves Danny...which was a welcome surprise to me!); this led us to a hilarious montage of Danny being rejected by about 25 different girls. All I have to say to them is, What the hell is wrong with you?! If you had called me, Danny, I would've come straight over. The sex tape thing was weird, but it makes sense that it's real purpose was to bring out the fact that Danny can be very judgmental, and now Peter knows about them...which is already hilarious and will only get better, I assume. As much as I like Bill Hader on SNL and stuff, I would not mind if he never reappeared on this show. I hope he's done. I would much rather see Josh come back, honestly; especially since he predicted Danny and Mindy as a couple in "Santa Fe".

I'm just gonna say it, Danny and Mindy are the cutest couple on TV and while I know things won't be smooth-sailing, this ship still pretty much sails itself. I applaud Jack Burditt and Jeremy Bronson for writing such perfect episodes and I honestly can't wait for what's to come.  

 Now I will thoroughly embarrass myself, but what can I say? Like all great poets, I was inspired.

An Ode to Danny Castellano
The way you look at Mindy makes me want to cry
I wish you could make out with me, I kinda want to die.
I can't believe you make you're own beer: Dr. Dan's Funky Ale,
I probably would never drink it, unless it's pale.
You're super Catholic and judgemental
But it's adorable that you're totally mental.
You read Bridget Jones to Mindy in a British Accent
You are seriously such a gent.
Much better than Mr. Darcy...I'm not kidding.
Your good looks and sweetness leave my heart aching.
I just wrote a poem for a fictional person;
What the hell is wrong with me?

You should really watch The Mindy Project

Tomorrow marks the long awaited return of the glorious Fox comedy The Mindy Project, which E!Online appropriately named "TV's best sitcom". If you haven't seen this show, I'm gonna give you five reasons why you should really give it a shot (and a cute little video with some of the show's funny moments).

5. The Cast
This show has one of the best ensembles on TV, hands down. Every character is funny and quirky, with a whole lot of heart. Morgan Tookers (Ike Barinholtz) will make you laugh every time he speaks, and if you don't want Danny Castellano (Chris Messina) to be your boyfriend then I guess you're into girls (in that case, Mindy would make a great girlfriend).

4. The Guest Stars

Mindy Kaling knows lots of cool people, partly because she used to write for/ star on The Office. This show is chock full of cameos by stars like James Franco, Seth Rogen, B.J. Novak, Ed Helms, Ellie Kemper, Anders Holm, Glenn Howerton, Seth Meyers, Clay Matthews (?!), etc. You'll see a few of them in the video. 

3. The Humor
This show is just so hysterical--the writers are so smart. You can watch every episode several times because you are always gonna pick up some little joke you didn't hear the first time, or something funny happening in the background. I made this video of funny moments from the show, and I actually struggled to decide which funny moments to include because there are about 5000 in every single episode.

2. Mindy and Danny
These two have one of the best relationships on TV right now. Their will-they-or-won't-they tension is so great...they started out hating each other, then they became best friends, but you can sense the attraction from the very first episode. The back half of season 2 (which starts TOMORROW!) will introduce their romantic relationship.

1. Mindy Kaling
She is everyone's spirit animal. She's so fun, blunt, confident, cool, and talented. Why wouldn't you want to support her super awesome show that is basically a romantic comedy in TV form?

*TOMORROW AT 9PM ON FOX. (viewer discretion is advised...just in case that sort of thing bothers you...)

Reign 1x16 "Monsters"

He was known as "The Barefoot King"

Well things certainly kicked into high gear tonight on Reign. I'm gonna start with the obvious--the problem that is affecting everyone in the castle: What the hell is wrong with King Henry?! He has actually gone mad...like pouring-hot-wax-into-an-innocent-noble's-ear mad. Now he seems to have some crazy ass servant girl, Penelope, Queen for the day, who is just as twisted, by his side. Like, this girl even manipulated Catherine...that's hard to do!
Basically everything bad happened tonight--some things worked out, but no one was happy about any of it.
Bash and Kenna are now married because the King hates both of them. But I can't help but be excited about this because that means Bash is back in court for good and obviously this marriage is going to bug Mary. Yes, she loves Francis and that's fine and all, but she has feelings for Bash too, and having her sluttiest lady-in-waiting be married to a guy who would be her second choice? This is gonna be fun to watch.
Poor, poor, star-crossed lovers Leith and Greer. They were kissing in her bedroom when her fiance and a gaggle of servants busted in (doesn't anyone knock anymore?) and saw them. So Greer got dumped and Leith was sent off to join the army. But don't worry, Peppercorn still wants Greer, so they're engaged now. I do not want to see that consummation.
Now, Lola is married to Greer's ex-fiance. Yes, what a tangled web. But it was Greer's idea and will fix the problem of Lola being single and noticeably pregnant. Forgive me, I am not a history buff, but did people not know about the whole nine months thing? How is she supposed to explain how she's showing right away, or how she gives birth like, five months after she gets married? I guess we'll find out!
OMG how did I almost forget about the action-y stuff. Bash and Francis rekindled (kind of) their brotherhood out in the woods searching for the Darkness. We know now that Francis did not try to get Bash killed, and Bash saved Francis from drowning/ freezing, but Mary has divided these bros in a way that probably will never be repaired. Which is sad, because I love bromances...even more when they're brothers.
 Finally, let's talk about the only French person on this show that actually has a French accent, Olivia. And Nostradamus. They finally kissed. And we also found out that Nostradamus' family died from the plague. Sad :(I don't ship them, but I don't not ship them, you catch my drift?

So we have a week off, then Reign returns April 10th with "Leige Lord". Here's the promo:

The Vampire Diaries 5x17 "Rescue Me"

Why does crazy sh*t always have to go down in junk yards?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but tonight for the first time in a long time, I felt like TVD has developed a clear direction for all of it's characters. For the longest time I felt like Bonnie, Jeremy, Tyler, and Matt were just hanging around doing nothing, but with the addition of Luke, Liv, and this traveler storyline, all characters who previously just hung out in the background seem to be actually getting a storyline with some relevancy. I actually don't love this traveler storyline though...it's real shady and confusing...I guess they needed Stefan and Elena's blood to bring back Markos, but who is Markos and why does "the universe" revolve around Stefan and Elena's blood. I assume we'll be getting some more answers soon, but I don't mind the weirdness of the travelers because anything is better than that cure storyline last season, and with Katherine gone (RIP), maybe we can finally get into some new stuff as opposed to recycling the old.
Let's talk about Tom. Sweet, sweet Tom. He was Stefan, but with less angst, a medical license, a love for waffles, and flat hair. Of course Caroline had a hard time killing him. He was completely innocent. And very much like Stefan (I don't think I realized the extent of her feelings for him until tonight...more on that later), so Enzo had to do it. At least it was quick and painless. Now, as far as we know, Stefan and Elena are the only living doppelgangers...which is just what the travelers wanted. Again, don't ask me why.
Now onto the horn-dogs who almost did it in a school so the moms with minivans could hear them (that was kinda hot but mostly weird), Damon and Elena's sexual tension was through the roof on the show tonight. That's how it always is though, when they know it's wrong but can't help the attraction. Anyway, at least they are both acknowledging that they have a volatile relationship. They just need to work on themselves and then maybe they can have a healthy relationship (when the show is over and Julie Plec doesn't use their sexual tension as a plot device weekly). Now to a purer love, the writers really threw Steroline in our faces this week like "here catch! You WILL accept them as a couple" and I guess I caught because when they were snuggling at the end of the episode I was giggling. Also, just the way Caroline was looking at Stefan (and Tom!), gurl has some feelings! Romantic stylez (please get this reference). I mean, it would make sense that the two best characters on the show got together. I just wonder if they actually will, or if this is just a little detour off the Elena highway (that's a bad metaphor).
Overall, an enjoyable episode, but next week it looks like all of us Stelena fans (yes I'm liking Steroline, but I will always love Stelena) are gonna have our hearts ripped out when Stefan and Elena both dream about how their life together could've been (I'm guessing it's a doppelganger thing) and it's directed by dreamboat Paul Wesley! Here's the promo: