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| Maybe she should watch "How to Train Your Dragon" |
In "Two Swords" we were introduced to a plethora of new characters and a new city for Dany to demolish. Let's get right into it!
If you want to be a miserable human being surrounded by breathtaking scenery, move to King's Landing! Anyone who is not miserable (Joffrey) is delusional. It is such a testament to the writing on this show that Jamie has become a likable character, after everything he's done. I sympathized with him when he was pushed away by Cersei (does that make me icky?)--who may be the only reason he stayed in King's Landing. Another may be that he wants to prove he is still a Knight...hey, maybe he'll get to kill another mad king (you know what I mean?).
Sansa is straight up pitiful. This poor girl has been broken in every way; I think that seeing the Knight turned Fool believe in her may give her some strength...I think she'll wear that necklace with dignity. And I stand by my belief that her marriage to Tyrion isn't such a bad thing; he is a good man. I think he may actually be the only good man in King's Landing. But I know from previews that he ends up in shackles at some point so we have that to look forward to.
The biggest (I assume) new character we were introduced to was Oberyn Martell. He's a highly sexualized prince with an anger issue directed toward the Lannisters, and he's coming to the Royal Wedding. I assume more Lannisters will be lost before the season's over as long as this guy sticks around.
Needle Returns
While I figured we would picked up with Arya and the Hound facing the repercussions of her calling Valar Morghulis, instead they ran into a batch of hooligans (yes this is an appropriate name for them, I think). Arya proved herself as a cold blooded killer to the Hound by killing three men without even breaking a sweat. One of these men stole Needle from her and killed Lommy...so she stuck Needle straight through his throat (I keep wanting to type Mr. Pointy...I suppose it's because Buffy and Arya are both badass bitches). Here's the lesson kids: kill three men, get your own pony!
Let's Talk Strategy
What a seamless transition into the new (more likable) Daario--he's so flirty with Dany and I kinda love it (but let's be real: no one can replace Khal Drogo). Dany, Jorah, and her army of freed slaves are on their way to Mereen, the mother of all slave cities. It is so terrible, in fact, that a crucified slave child sits at every mile marker to the city for about 150 miles. Jorah could've had Grey Worm go ahead and take the children down before Dany saw them, but she said leave them. It fuels her hate fire. It fuels mine too; I can't wait to see Khaleesi's army take this hellish city!
Snow Knows
Castle Black is mad at Jon Snow, he could've been beheaded but it turns out he was actually doing some recon when he was in with the Wildlings, not just sleeping with Ygritte (still so bitter about it...why couldn't it have been me?). An army of 100,000 is coming to take the Wall and the Night's Watch needs to be ready. We'll see if they actually are, or if there stubbornness will keep them from being able to protect themselves.
Next week appears to be the Royal Wedding and the largest hairdo I've ever seen on anyone.
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