Game of Thrones 4x03 "Breaker of Chains"

While some episodes/arcs seem to race through time, I get the feeling that this season of GoT may move very slowly. Which is understandable, especially when they have an episode that touches on all of the major characters. I get the feeling Daenerys will be in Mereen for a while (seriously, is the last episode of this show gonna be like “Welp! We finally made it to King’s Landing! Dragons, kill everyone”?), and we may actually wait a fortnight for Tyrion’s trial.

Father/Daughter bonding time.

Let’s talk about warm, loving, and appropriate family environments; our subject today will be the Lannisters. When your oldest son is lying dead on a table, here are some things you should do: pray for him and your family, cry with your family, talk about memories involving him, etc. Here are some things you should not do: talk to the dead guy’s little brother about being a better king, raping your sister on/right next to the table where the dead kid is, threaten to kill the only sane member of the family, etc. I thought I liked Jamie at this point; I was willing—well, trying—to look past the fact that he sleeps with his sister and pushed Bran out a window, but he’s still as insane as ever. And he raped his sister. I know Cersei is manipulative and icky, but she didn’t seem to be enjoying herself. Still, Cersei is using Jamie’s devotion to her to target Tyrion and Sansa, and she’s twisting things to make Tyrion seem guilty.

Of course Little Finger was behind (at least some) of the attack on Joffrey. He is so manipulative—I’m actually terrified for Sansa’s safety right now because he had such a sick obsession with Catelyn. I can’t imagine why else he would go to all the trouble of poisoning Joffrey. I suppose we’ll see the rest unfold in the coming weeks.

      Things are bleak at Castle Black (oh man! See what I did there?). The wildlings are actually disgusting creatures taking over everything and there aren’t enough members of the Night’s Watch to take them on, but they’re still gonna take them anyway, because what’s 100 wildings for every crow, you know? And poor Tarly, Gilly, and little Sam. He loves her. He just wants to protect her, but he’s probably just putting her in more danger. Which is really sad; can’t they just go off and live in domestic bliss?

      While I thought Arya and the Hound were getting along with this fun little game they were playing to get free room and board, he had to go be a jerk and steal the nice man’s silver. That was a terrible thing to do, but he made a good point: they live in a corrupt world, playing by the rules won’t get you anything but dead.  But Arya is starting to get to the point where she could protect herself, and I would not want to be on her bad side.
      Finally we spent about 3 minutes with Daenerys. I do enjoy it when episodes end epically with her, but we never see her for more than a few minutes! Maybe if she got more than 15 minutes of screen time a season, it wouldn’t take her 10 years to get to King’s Landing. Anyway, Daario is a dreamy badass. I officially like this recasting. And how cool is it that shackles were in those barrels? Tie those scoundrels up, slaves of Mereen!

Game of Thrones 4x02 "The Lion and the Rose"

Her hair is almost bigger than his head.

I should be so happy about this. I really should but I can't, because Tyrion has already been implicated for it. Joffrey is such a bieber (this is my word for an adolescent boy who is an ignorant little sh*t); I have been hoping for his death for 32 straight episodes--just imagining the different gruesome ways he could die...I was not expecting this and I was not expecting this reaction. I really thought I would be giggling with excitement. Maybe when it sinks in tomorrow I will be, but right now all I can think about is Tyrion. During the "war of the 5 kings", I turned to my roommate and told her how much I love Tyrion and Sansa, and their attitude towards everything in King's Landing. Their faces (along with Margaery, her grandmother, Pycelle, and Oberyn) reflected the complete disdain in Joffrey that everyone should have. I think that's why I love Tyrion and Sansa together--just as friends, at least?--they are both prisoners of King's Landing who deserve so much better, and they just deal with it. They know they are better than all of it too. They could bond over so much if Sansa could let go of the fact that he is a Lannister and an imp.
ALL HAIL QUEEN MARGAERY. I love her so much, but will Cersei try to find a loophole and be Queen again? I mean, she's delusional and still thinks she's the queen anyway. Also, of course she writes off Jamie (who gets hotter every episode, right? Does that make me gross?), but then thinks she owns him again when she finds out Brienne has feelings for him.
I cannot believe what has happened to Theon. I mean, I can, but I got really emotional (I didn't cry, but it hit me hard) when we saw him in the first scene. He really has been broken by Ramsay Snow (do all bastards have the last name Snow? Can someone help me with this?). I used to hate Theon but he has really paid his dues now. I hope his sister comes and literally murders everyone, and like, gruesomely murders Roose Bolton and Ramsay. And then goes home and murders her father. That would be satisfying.
And Bran touched a tree and basically got a recap of the entire show in his head. Now he knows where to go to begin to fight the White Walkers (I think?). Which is good because no one believes they're coming, and they are just gonna kill everyone in the middle of the night, and this show will become Game of White Walkers.

Here's the promo for next week; Daenerys and Jon Snow are back and we still get to see what happens with Tyrion (maybe): 

Game of Thrones 4x01 "Two Swords"

Maybe she should watch "How to Train Your Dragon"

I apologize for the late review, my friend and I like to watch the show together and we didn't get a chance until tonight...which seems okay since HBOGO crashed last night anyway!

In "Two Swords" we were introduced to a plethora of new characters and a new city for Dany to demolish. Let's get right into it!

Golden hair, golden hand
If you want to be a miserable human being surrounded by breathtaking scenery, move to King's Landing! Anyone who is not miserable (Joffrey) is delusional. It is such a testament to the writing on this show that Jamie has become a likable character, after everything he's done. I sympathized with him when he was pushed away by Cersei (does that make me icky?)--who may be the only reason he stayed in King's Landing. Another may be that he wants to prove he is still a Knight...hey, maybe he'll get to kill another mad king (you know what I mean?).
Sansa is straight up pitiful. This poor girl has been broken in every way; I think that seeing the Knight turned Fool believe in her may give her some strength...I think she'll wear that necklace with dignity. And I stand by my belief that her marriage to Tyrion isn't such a bad thing; he is a good man. I think he may actually be the only good man in King's Landing. But I know from previews that he ends up in shackles at some point so we have that to look forward to.
The biggest (I assume) new character we were introduced to was Oberyn Martell. He's a highly sexualized prince with an anger issue directed toward the Lannisters, and he's coming to the Royal Wedding. I assume more Lannisters will be lost before the season's over as long as this guy sticks around.
Needle Returns
While I figured we would picked up with Arya and the Hound facing the repercussions of her calling Valar Morghulis, instead they ran into a batch of hooligans (yes this is an appropriate name for them, I think). Arya proved herself as a cold blooded killer to the Hound by killing three men without even breaking a sweat. One of these men stole Needle from her and killed Lommy...so she stuck Needle straight through his throat (I keep wanting to type Mr. Pointy...I suppose it's because Buffy and Arya are both badass bitches). Here's the lesson kids: kill three men, get your own pony!
Let's Talk Strategy
What a seamless transition into the new (more likable) Daario--he's so flirty with Dany and I kinda love it (but let's be real: no one can replace Khal Drogo). Dany, Jorah, and her army of freed slaves are on their way to Mereen, the mother of all slave cities. It is so terrible, in fact, that a crucified slave child sits at every mile marker to the city for about 150 miles. Jorah could've had Grey Worm go ahead and take the children down before Dany saw them, but she said leave them. It fuels her hate fire. It fuels mine too; I can't wait to see Khaleesi's army take this hellish city!
Snow Knows
Castle Black is mad at Jon Snow, he could've been beheaded but it turns out he was actually doing some recon when he was in with the Wildlings, not just sleeping with Ygritte (still so bitter about it...why couldn't it have been me?). An army of 100,000 is coming to take the Wall and the Night's Watch needs to be ready. We'll see if they actually are, or if there stubbornness will keep them from being able to protect themselves.

Next week appears to be the Royal Wedding and the largest hairdo I've ever seen on anyone.

GAME OF THRONES. GAME OF THRONES. GAME OF THRONES TONIGHT!

HBO 9PM.

Season 4 promo: 

and here's my season 3 video became I'm a shameless self promoter:

Valar Morghulis

Game of Thrones Season 4 premieres in TWO WEEKS! I've heard that this season will be the darkest one yet...

To get you ready, I made a video with scenes from season 3 (it's relatively spoiler free though, if you've never seen the show before!)

Winter Is Coming (and it's been coming for 4 years now)

So I finished season three of Game of Thrones. Yes, I know. How did I just finish GoT? What is wrong with me? And yes, I already knew about the Red Wedding, so that wasn't much of a shock.
Anyway, season four premieres in about a month and a half (April 6th at 9pm), and now that I've caught up, and all the emotion and drama is fresh in my mind, I figured this would be as good a time as any to review what has happened thus far. Annnnd maybe intrigue some readers who haven't watched it before! It's only 30 episodes and really, really good...definitely worth the watch! 

Instead of recapping everything that happened in the third season I'm just gonna go ahead a do a rundown of my favorite characters and the characters that I hope are eaten by The Stark's direwolves or Khlaleesi's dragons. 

The Lannisters
Tyrion: Second favorite character right here and the only "good" Lannister. He truly seems to care about people which is amazing because no one ever really cared about him. He is strong, smart, and often a much needed comic relief. Of course the rest of his family would rather see him dead than have any power, so I wonder what kind of hell he'll be put through next season. Oh and he's married to Sansa of course, which I'll talk more about in a bit.

Cersei: Do I hate her? Do I feel bad for her? Do I admire her? I don't really know. I used to really hate her...but she doesn't have much control and she actually has to deal with the most disgusting son in all of Westeros. She may be rich and the queen regent but she doesn't really have anything or anyone. She's not a real threat at the moment, especially since the Tyrells arrived at Court. We'll see what happens next season.

Jaime: Dare I say that I like him now? The words taste icky in my mouth. But ever since he got knocked off of his high horse (literally?) and his sword hand chopped off, he's been a bit humbled. He also seems to care for Brienne (platonically--he's only ever been with Cersei...ew) but he's back at King's Landing now and I'm sure once he get's his hair cut it will be like his excursion beyond King's Landing never happened and he'll go back to being Cersei's little bitch.

Tywin: He's a jackass. Every single time he tells Tyrion he's worthless I want to take his little "Hand of the King" pin and stab him in the heart (is that too violent?). And he ordered the Red Wedding. How dare he. But he is devoted to his family--or maybe just to himself. I do appreciate that Joffrey and Cersei seem to be muted in his presence, but I hate how Tyrion has no respect or authority with him around.

Joffrey: He sucks. He is a misogynistic pig. I actually hate him more than I've ever hated any fictional character ever and I recently dreamed that Bran possessed a direwolf and maimed him while he was sitting on the Iron Throne. Every time he messes with Sansa I get soo mad. He is also a little baby and the scene where Tywin told him to go to bed and Joffrey kept whining that he wasn't tired was the greatest Lannister exchange ever.

The Starks
*R.I.P. Catelyn (even though I didn't like you), Robb, Talisa, and lil' Eddard (sorry had to do it).

Arya: She's a badass bitch. And I can't believe the amount of heartache she has endured. She is so strong and determined--she deserves at least some happiness. I hope her and Gendry can reunite at some point/ I hope Gendry doesn't die. She is extremely arrogant though. Like, too arrogant to last on her own. P.S. As much as I hate The Hound, why did she call Valar Morghulis on him? Does that really seem wise?

Sansa: She's pretty much a prisoner. Almost the same way Theon Greyjoy was a prisoner to the Starks. But she is married to Tyrion now and honestly, I consider her pretty lucky. He may be a dwarf, but he is a good man. Much better than Joffrey--and I think he'll protect her. I think Margaery will protect her too. She has been in worst positions...she just needs to grow a backbone.

Bran: I'm excited than he is honing his abilities. I don't even know what to call them but they are awesome and I'm pretty sure they are the key to everything and I also think that my dream about
Joffrey's death totally could happen and there is no way anyone could pin that on Bran.

Jon Snow: My poor Jon Snow. Ygritte was never good enough for ye (I'm sorry I can only hear anything about Jon Snow in my head in her voice). Look, she was good to start you off but you need a nice lady who will be loyal to you and not shoot you with arrows (I volunteer to be this lady). I'm just glad he's made it back to Castle Black with Tarly and the gang.

Now to two awesome ladies who don't belong in a tier
Margaery Tyrell: She is so great and manipulative (much like Anne Boleyn, her character on The Tudors, no?).  I wouldn't be surprised if she poisoned Joffrey herself, and no one would blame her (except Cersei) because she's put all of King's Landing under her spell. I love her...I hope I'm not being misled too!

Daenerys Targaryn: I put her in bold because she is my favorite fictional character that has ever existed. Maybe just my favorite person that has ever existed. She truly is the Khaleesi and the mother of dragons. Not to mention everyone is drawn to her (and rightfully so; she's perfect). The way she took Astapor was the greatest moment of the show so far. Of course, I am rooting for her to take back the Iron Throne--but there are no happy endings in Westeros.


People I don't really care about/ don't like: Stannis (I thought you were a tough king why do you take all your orders from Melissandre who is a total witchy creep...obviously I don't want them to take the throne--they rely too much on "sacrificing" people...they can all go away), The Lord of Light really just creeps me out in general...what a dark/ powerful religion...and Theon/ Reek (I used to absolutely hate him...now I think he has more than paid for his sins...poor guy...I hate torture).

*I know I've left people out but these are the main characters I think about. There are many more important people, I know.
 
I can't wait until April 6th. I'm off to go dye my hair bleach blonde and dress my dogs up like dragons.