Game of Thrones 4x02 "The Lion and the Rose"

Her hair is almost bigger than his head.

I should be so happy about this. I really should but I can't, because Tyrion has already been implicated for it. Joffrey is such a bieber (this is my word for an adolescent boy who is an ignorant little sh*t); I have been hoping for his death for 32 straight episodes--just imagining the different gruesome ways he could die...I was not expecting this and I was not expecting this reaction. I really thought I would be giggling with excitement. Maybe when it sinks in tomorrow I will be, but right now all I can think about is Tyrion. During the "war of the 5 kings", I turned to my roommate and told her how much I love Tyrion and Sansa, and their attitude towards everything in King's Landing. Their faces (along with Margaery, her grandmother, Pycelle, and Oberyn) reflected the complete disdain in Joffrey that everyone should have. I think that's why I love Tyrion and Sansa together--just as friends, at least?--they are both prisoners of King's Landing who deserve so much better, and they just deal with it. They know they are better than all of it too. They could bond over so much if Sansa could let go of the fact that he is a Lannister and an imp.
ALL HAIL QUEEN MARGAERY. I love her so much, but will Cersei try to find a loophole and be Queen again? I mean, she's delusional and still thinks she's the queen anyway. Also, of course she writes off Jamie (who gets hotter every episode, right? Does that make me gross?), but then thinks she owns him again when she finds out Brienne has feelings for him.
I cannot believe what has happened to Theon. I mean, I can, but I got really emotional (I didn't cry, but it hit me hard) when we saw him in the first scene. He really has been broken by Ramsay Snow (do all bastards have the last name Snow? Can someone help me with this?). I used to hate Theon but he has really paid his dues now. I hope his sister comes and literally murders everyone, and like, gruesomely murders Roose Bolton and Ramsay. And then goes home and murders her father. That would be satisfying.
And Bran touched a tree and basically got a recap of the entire show in his head. Now he knows where to go to begin to fight the White Walkers (I think?). Which is good because no one believes they're coming, and they are just gonna kill everyone in the middle of the night, and this show will become Game of White Walkers.

Here's the promo for next week; Daenerys and Jon Snow are back and we still get to see what happens with Tyrion (maybe): 

Scandal 3x17 "Flesh and Blood"

On ABC, assembling a bomb is very glamorous.

Holy frick how does Shonda do it? amirite? I cannot believe the craziness that went down on Scandal this week. I didn't think Cyrus could get any more evil than he already is, but boy was I wrong. Really? Allowing a church full of people (including Fitz's VP) to die just to get rid of the competition? What a coward. I mean, he's an incredibly well written villain...because technically he works for the good guys, but he only looks out for himself. The second Olivia and Fitz aren't in his best interest he will take them down too (just as he has almost done several times). I don't know why  I didn't guess that the bomb would be in the church all along...why else would they even discuss this guy's death in such an event-filled hour?

Comparing Olivia's love life to her mother's was an interesting move. It's almost bringing light to the fact that Olivia may not deserve that white hat as much as we are supposed to believe. She has done so many bad things (along with the good) and one of those things is stringing along Jake, all the while being in love with a married man (who just happens to be the POTUS). Hopefully, realizing these similarities, and seeing what happened to the husband and the lover will help Olivia actually choose between Jake and Fitz. She can see herself with both, but she's not in love with Jake. She can't string him along. She's either gotta let go of her affair with Fitz (which means he's actually gotta let go of her) or she needs to let go of Jake. What makes it harder for her is that both of these men are determined to have her. Jeez what a dilemma two sexy men want her ugh I hate TV (just kidding I love it so much).

Now let's move on to the most disgusting thing of my life: Huckleberry Quinn. Thinking about them makes me want to vomit. Yeah okay maybe the car sex was kinda hot if you pretend neither of them were involved but they were. And Charlie was just off by himself being in love with Quinn, and he's much better for her because he didn't lick her, strip her, then torture her. Or you know, spit on her, then lick her. Okay I am just so grossed out. I know what Shonda's doing though. Both Quinn and Huck are severely disturbed...like really sick. So they have this gross attraction to each other. It's really rough and disgusting and I guess some people find it sexy. But I don't like Huck; I like Charlie, and I think Quinn is better off with Charlie. Huck turned Quinn crazy to begin with so I just don't like it no one can persuade me otherwise. Sorry that was rambly and ranty but my thoughts involving these three are that way.

Finally let's talk about Queen Mellie. I am so glad Olivia knows about Big Jerry. It's just so heartbreaking that Mellie has had to keep that a secret for so long. She could never tell Fitz because of their volatile relationship. Also, how do you tell your husband that his dad raped you, and your son may not be his? Ugh it's just so terrible. Mellie is so strong and smart and more than anything, I appreciate that Olivia recognizes that. As much as they hate each other, it's apparent that they respect each other. If they worked together they could run this country through Fitz (in a way they already do)!

Next week is the season finale and it's gon' be the bomb! (too much?) Here's the promo:

*PS: sorry it took me forever to write about this. I have no good excuse.

Reign 1x17 "Liege Lord"

Never a shortage of fab dresses and headbands on this show.

So here's what I got out of this relatively un-entertaining episode of Reign: Mary is becoming a badass bitch! Mary has spent this entire show trying to combat the people trying to tear her down--but she's been kind of afraid to get her hands dirty. Tonight, she proved that she's willing to do whatever it takes to protect Scotland--even if it means putting Scotland ahead of Francis. I keep wondering how the show will progress after Francis' death (if they follow history and/ or if the show makes it that long)...will they just follow Mary being an awesome queen? She lived a pretty scandalous life, so I know there's plenty more material to work with there. Also, Adelaide Kane can be sweet, caring, strong and intimidating all at the same time. And she's stunning. What a gal.
King Henry is officially just making me laugh at this point. Like, where are they even going with this? I read that he actually died as the result of a jousting accident...are they gonna kill him from this instead? Or is he gonna go on a mad jousting rampage? I don't even know.
This brings me to Kenna and Bash. I don't know if you guys know this but Bash is just like the dreamiest guy ever. He's such a good husband--even to a girl he doesn't like. The way he spoke of protecting Kenna from Henry was so sweet. I am kind of half-shipping them at this point. Like, obviously nothing can happen with him and Mary right now, so I wouldn't mind if he hooked up with his wife. I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to a little bit of happiness for a guy that has none. And this episode also restored some respect in Kenna that has been missing for most of the season.
And Lola finally found a solution for her bun in the oven in Lord Julien--He's afraid to make kids of his own, and this way he still gets an heir! These two seem like a cute couple--hopefully things work out there. But happiness doesn't seem to last long at French Court. 

Here's the preview for next week's Reign. Looks like more trouble's ahead in Fraryland.

I Will Go Down With This 'Ship: Couple of the Week

I love that cliche "girl doesn't know the guy is staring at her" thing.

You know? As of right now, I would not go down with this ship, but I really really enjoy them, and I can see myself--maybe one day--having uncontrollable feels for them. But they're just getting started, you know? Romantic stylez. Who am I talking about? Jake and Amy on Brooklyn Nine-Nine!
This show is, sadly, officially on it's summer hiatus, but Hulu has just locked down exclusive rights to the show, meaning you can watch the entire first season with a Hulu Plus subscription, and I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it.
Anyway, back to Jake and Amy, they were hinted at from the very beginning because of a bet where if Jake won, Amy had to go on a date with him. But any romance was put on the back burner for the majority of the season and I almost forgot there was any possibility of romance between them at all. That is until Jake won the bet and took Amy out on a purposely terrible date. All of the sudden, out of almost nowhere, we started to realize that Jake actually maybe has real feelings for Amy--and maybe Amy even has some feelings for Jake. For the remainder of the season, we saw Jake (kind of) pine for Amy. Not that Jake Peralta really pines...it was his version of pining. And the season ended with Jake admitting to Amy that he wished they could've given it a go, then he left the precinct for 6 months to go undercover for the FBI before letting her respond.

They've mastered that effortlessly cool mix of formal and casual.

I love how slowly the writers have built up this relationship--they started as friendly adversaries who respect each other's work, and turn into great friends and partners. It just seems very natural. They are very reminiscent of Danny and Mindy in that respect, actually. Which could mean that in season 2, the writers could push them together full speed ahead. All I know is, I'm excited to see how Amy will respond to Jake's feelings and if he will actually spend 6 months away from her and the rest of the Nine-Nine!

Because the relationship has been pretty slow to start, I'm just gonna point out some of my favorite episodes of the first season. I'll put a star next to episodes that actually advance the Jake/ Amy storyline.
1x01 Pilot
1x07 48 Hours
1x10 Thanksgiving
1x13 The Bet*
1x15 Operation: Broken Feather
1x16 The Party
1x18 The Apartment
1x19 Tactical Village*
1x21 Unsolvable*
1x22 Charges and Specs*

The Mindy Project 2x17 "Be Cool" and 2x18 "Girl Grush"

Okay sorry I think I just needed time to digest all the feels. 

#coolerthanu

When I found out that Ike Barinholtz and David Stassen wrote Be Cool I got so excited...what a dream team, you know? But I was also really anxious because I knew Danny and Mindy were breaking up in this episode, and I just didn't know what kind of feels to expect. Should I be drunk during this? Should I take a sedative? I ended up watching Will and Grace and eating cold pizza to relieve my anxiety. I honestly didn't expect for it to be one of my favorite episodes of the show thus far! The beginning montage with Danny and Mindy dating in secret was so cute, and honestly, the break up was sad, but it was probably my favorite scene ever with the two of them. It didn't really feel like a break up at all; it felt like the first time they were truly honest about how deeply they care for each other, which will only bring them closer together. I, for one, am ecstatic to see a pining Mindy for once (which is what MK said we're getting for the rest of the season). For the entire series, I kind of thought Danny's feelings were not reciprocated, but we are finally getting to see how much Mindy cares for Danny. He needs to see how much she loves him, because that's where most of his insecurity lies. 
Peter also proved to be an actual nice guy in this episode by: 1. shipping Mindy and Danny and 2. helping Mindy during the party, and even becoming a better guy because of it. I have grown to love Peter so much. If anyone told me after his introduction in "Music Festival" that he would end up being one of my favorite characters, I would've laughed in their face.

Now onto Girl Crush which was, following "Be Cool", lackluster. If you didn't already know, "Girl

seriously. why is she terrifying?

Crush" was shot before "The Desert" was even written, so aside from a few reshoots (i.e: the cold open), the continuity just seemed off. A few things bothered me: 1. Mindy's annoyance with the Shulman and Associates, while at times warranted, was too reminiscent of the season 1 episode "Two to One" 2. Anna Gunn really scares me. Don't ask me why; I don't even know. and 3. It's hard for me to believe that Danny Castellano--the perfect male specimen--would expend any energy flirting with Sally Prentice. Yes, JoAnna Garcia Swisher is totally adorable and I love her, but her character is kind of icky--well so far at least. This is also where the continuity is bugging me again...it seems really insensitive of Danny to move on with a girl so quickly after the break up.

Both episodes succeeded in basically reintroducing Jeremy back on the show. Don't get me wrong, I love how heavily Peter has been featured, but Jeremy has been M.I.A for, like, half of the season. Also, Betsy being in love with Danny is probably the best storyline to happen to her--she exists solely to pop in the occasional one liner, and I can't think of anything better than one liners about Danny's muscular form and overall dreaminess.

Next week should be great, the continuity should seem right again and Max Greenfield guest stars, the only sad thing is that we're back to one episode a week. 9:30.

Game of Thrones 4x01 "Two Swords"

Maybe she should watch "How to Train Your Dragon"

I apologize for the late review, my friend and I like to watch the show together and we didn't get a chance until tonight...which seems okay since HBOGO crashed last night anyway!

In "Two Swords" we were introduced to a plethora of new characters and a new city for Dany to demolish. Let's get right into it!

Golden hair, golden hand
If you want to be a miserable human being surrounded by breathtaking scenery, move to King's Landing! Anyone who is not miserable (Joffrey) is delusional. It is such a testament to the writing on this show that Jamie has become a likable character, after everything he's done. I sympathized with him when he was pushed away by Cersei (does that make me icky?)--who may be the only reason he stayed in King's Landing. Another may be that he wants to prove he is still a Knight...hey, maybe he'll get to kill another mad king (you know what I mean?).
Sansa is straight up pitiful. This poor girl has been broken in every way; I think that seeing the Knight turned Fool believe in her may give her some strength...I think she'll wear that necklace with dignity. And I stand by my belief that her marriage to Tyrion isn't such a bad thing; he is a good man. I think he may actually be the only good man in King's Landing. But I know from previews that he ends up in shackles at some point so we have that to look forward to.
The biggest (I assume) new character we were introduced to was Oberyn Martell. He's a highly sexualized prince with an anger issue directed toward the Lannisters, and he's coming to the Royal Wedding. I assume more Lannisters will be lost before the season's over as long as this guy sticks around.
Needle Returns
While I figured we would picked up with Arya and the Hound facing the repercussions of her calling Valar Morghulis, instead they ran into a batch of hooligans (yes this is an appropriate name for them, I think). Arya proved herself as a cold blooded killer to the Hound by killing three men without even breaking a sweat. One of these men stole Needle from her and killed Lommy...so she stuck Needle straight through his throat (I keep wanting to type Mr. Pointy...I suppose it's because Buffy and Arya are both badass bitches). Here's the lesson kids: kill three men, get your own pony!
Let's Talk Strategy
What a seamless transition into the new (more likable) Daario--he's so flirty with Dany and I kinda love it (but let's be real: no one can replace Khal Drogo). Dany, Jorah, and her army of freed slaves are on their way to Mereen, the mother of all slave cities. It is so terrible, in fact, that a crucified slave child sits at every mile marker to the city for about 150 miles. Jorah could've had Grey Worm go ahead and take the children down before Dany saw them, but she said leave them. It fuels her hate fire. It fuels mine too; I can't wait to see Khaleesi's army take this hellish city!
Snow Knows
Castle Black is mad at Jon Snow, he could've been beheaded but it turns out he was actually doing some recon when he was in with the Wildlings, not just sleeping with Ygritte (still so bitter about it...why couldn't it have been me?). An army of 100,000 is coming to take the Wall and the Night's Watch needs to be ready. We'll see if they actually are, or if there stubbornness will keep them from being able to protect themselves.

Next week appears to be the Royal Wedding and the largest hairdo I've ever seen on anyone.

GAME OF THRONES. GAME OF THRONES. GAME OF THRONES TONIGHT!

HBO 9PM.

Season 4 promo: 

and here's my season 3 video became I'm a shameless self promoter: