Reign 1x12 "Royal Blood"

Luck be a lady tonight (bom chicka wow wow)

Historical accuracy be damned, this show is just amazing! Like seriously, would it be okay to just go completely off the cuff and make everything completely fictitious from here on out?? I just love Bash too much and I have theories for how this is all "resolved" and they do not make me happy (I'll get to that towards the end of the review).


Because I am anxious to tell you my theory, I will just do a quick rundown of my thoughts during the episode:
-Bash's perfection is literally too much to handle. He was looking sharp during this episode. I ship him and Mary so hard, even when they fight it's adorable. My heart is going to break into a million little pieces when they (inevitably) break up.
-For some reason, I was not surprised at all about Lola and Francis' hookup. Kenna or Greer may have surprised me, but not this one. I really don't know why. And it worked...they have good chemistry! But this could really put a monkey wrench in the central relationships back at court. I can't wait!
-Clarissa was just creepy as hell. She actually watched a couple of servants have sex, then broke the girl's neck. Then she kidnapped her half-brothers. I mean, how could you not be crazy, though, living in secret passageways with a sack over your head your whole life? And she made things sort of interesting at times, but I will not miss her.

So happy together (for now)

-Nostradamus and Catherine are such a great scheming duo. I actually found myself rooting for her during this episode. She is such a great character.
-BASH. BASH. BASH. (have I already talked about him?)

Now, my theory for the coming episodes:
Francis is coming back to court to try to save his mother, and the only way he can do this is to take back the crown. I think he is going to let it slip, strategically, that he and Mary have already slept together, meaning that she cannot possibly marry Bash...she's already lost her virtue to Francis! With this knowledge, the Pope will not grant Bash's legitimization, and King Henry (who is still obsessed with gaining control of England) will be forced to make Mary to wed Francis instead of Bash. This would mean that Catherine is safe from execution and once again, the rightful queen. This would also mean that Bash would find out about Mary and Francis and be totally crushed and lose Mary and now I'm crying. I hate this theory but I also love it. 

  

The Vampire Diaries 5x14 "No Exit"

Hey Damon is Stefan checking me out right now?

No disrespect to TVFanatic, I love it, I read basically all of their episode reviews, but I am always surprised at how harshly they review TVD every week. Maybe it's just because it started out SO great and now it has gotten pretty repetitive, but once you let go of the fact that this is isn't a highly cerebral show--it's pretty predictable at this point--you can just pick out what you like and enjoy each episode for what it is: hot vamps running around and making out and getting into trouble.

Yes, season five is "crap" compared to seasons 1-3 (but better than season four in my opinion), but I am invested in all of these characters now and will keep watching until the end. Unless they kill off Stefan...which they will never do...but if they did...I'd be done.

For my last review I did the good and the bad, for this review, I am going to post the hilarious texts my best friend sent me throughout the episode. I agree with most of these statements and I will add my two-sense in purple: 
 
-Katherinelena's [this is genius] hair is getting curlier, how doesn't Stefan see this as a sign? It's because every atom in his body is igniting with his love for Elena again and he's feeling distracted. My poor baby Stefan. Let me love you!

-It's so obvious that she's hitting on him "let's get a hotel room..." In the middle of the day because you're greasy? That's not economically resonable! I still don't understand how all vampires have an endless amount of money. Like, it's gotta run out at some point right? ps: scheming Katherinelena is just hilarious. 

Chains can't contain this rippah's sprirt! *sarcasm*

This is the most awkward makeout music oh my gosh. Don't even get me started. This scene could've been so hot but it was just cheesy and awkward because 1. porno music 2. it was just poorly directed. That raw Dobsley chemistry can only help a stupid scene so much.

But also haha Katherine no sex for you tonight/ Poor Stefan, again, his emotions are being toyed with. 

Her plan to get Stefan to kill Damon to save Elena? First off I wouldn't hate that, I'm starting to not love Damon anyway. Doesn't matter though because Stefan would TOTAALLY choose Damon over Elena. I agree, bros before hoes (literally Katherine is a hoe)...this was a good plan in theory though...but Katherinelena thinks to highly of herself. 

I think Katherine's spawn has another plan--I don't think she's just in it for some motherly bonding. I think she's just looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm curious to see if Katherine will try to help her with her werewolf bite. 

HE'D RATHER SACRIFICE HIMSELF THAN LOSE DAMON OR ELENA I LOVE STEFAN I love that you love Stefan now! And yes this was smart of Stefan...but how did they get him out of the house??

The last season and a half has brought me closer and closer to Stelena. This comes from a girl who

We've been busy canoodling

consistently had her computer background as a picture of Delena. Welcome to the light.

I would never date anyone that killed [her brother] TWICE ugh. This is some good logic. I get that Damon is very troubled, but how many times can you forgive a guy for doing totally unforgivable things? Come on, Elena. 

Damn, Damon is smart (he just said that "Elena" wanted Stefan to kill him) maybe if he wakes up and realizes Elena doesn't think the worst of him he'll realize we got an invasion of the body snatchers on our hands here. Yeah, it's gotta be hard to see "the love of your life" trying to get you killed. Also, how long will those chains last? Is Damon gonna keep drinking from vamps? Are we gonna get a cute brotherly montage of Stefan teaching Damon to be a rippah?? 

THERE WE GO STEFAN WELCOME TO THE PARTY (various party emojis) hopefully he wasn't too far down the 'feelings for Elena' rabbit hole.

Side note I love love love whenever Stefan and Caroline sit around and talk and figure shit out. They're becoming the heart of the show. While this exact scene has happened before (basically) you are right in saying that it makes sense that they would be the ones to always figure stuff out. They are my two favorites characters and I stand by my position that they should NOT hookup. The should just stay besties forever (literally).  


  
  

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1x18 "The Apartment"

Little Mermaid references are totally normal here.

I just really love this show. Not only is it hilarious, but the writers are great with their character development--every character has heart and is likable in someway or another.

This week there were three plots running--Jake and (his childhood friend?!) Gina looked for a new apartment because his building is becoming a co-op and he couldn't afford to buy his place. Unsurprisingly, he is in crushing debt; if worse comes to worse he can just take one of his 6 massage chairs and his three turntables out to the street and DJ for money, right? I really liked seeing the relationship between Jake and Gina; they are very close and blunt with each other, and I actually liked Gina a lot more in this episode than I have previously! She also proved that there is actually something rattling around in that brain of hers by helping Jake with his finances and then offering to buy his place! Very cool.

Back at the office, Holt ran self evaluations for the precinct and Jeffers was a nervous wreck because of it. He is just a proud mama hen and he wanted Holt to see the improvement in his squad...even though Scully and Hitchcock only have a combined 14 arrests? (8 more than last year!) Santiago also finally realized she relies too much on Holt's opinion...should we expect some growth in her soon? Maybe that's how her and Jake's relationship begin to progress.

 My favorite plot of the night belonged to Rosa and Boyle, though; Rosa was annoyed that the weekend officer who takes over her desk always shaves at it and gets hair everywhere, so to get back

This photo seems bizarre out of context.

at him, she and Boyle filled his locker with shaving cream and loose hair. As it turns out, the poor guy is having a really hard time at home right now, so they attempt to remove all of the crap they put in his locker. (Boyle's jokes with the hair? Side splitting.) It was great to see some normal interaction between Boyle and Rosa--now that he's not obsessed with her, they can actually get along. Is it possible that Rosa may have a little more than friendly feelings for Boyle? Over at TVLINE, Ausiello did tease that two unlikely characters will hook up in the near future...only time will tell! 

I swear this show gets better every week. 

Funny quotes galore in this episode: 
Gina: Nana has made me the intelligent, sensuous woman I am today.
 
Jake: So Talk to me goose, how are we looking?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

Jake: (to Capt. Holt) Thanks, Dad! [This was not sarcasm, you should find this scene and watch it]

Boyle: Nothing gets you smiling like cold blooded vengeance! 


PS: Did anyone else think that Gina's apartment was pretty alright for a shithole? Maybe I'm just used to college living...I'll be curious to see how Jake fixes it up!

I Will Go Down With This 'Ship: Couple of the Week

Unpopular Opinion time: I prefer Stelena to Delena. They are honestly one of my favorite couples. I'm sorry I just do. While Damon and even Delena were likable in the first three seasons they are now the most annoying thing ever. Damon has become a big whiny baby--much worse than Stefan and I don't care what any of y'all say, my opinion stands.

Honestly though, in regards to Delena, while it is good to have a relationship full of excitement and sexual chemistry (hated how they used that sire bond trope, btw...totally used to elongate the triangle. LAME), I do not think it's good to have a relationship where one person becomes better, but the other becomes worse. Elena really just began sucking as a character when she started dating Damon. He got "better", but isn't he supposed to be the bad guy? Don't we like him better that way? I know I do!

credit elenastefantvd.tumblr.com

Sorry, this is not supposed to be an anti-Delena post, I swear, I am just trying to give you a few reasons to consider that Stefan may be a better match for her. Now for reasons actually involving Stefan: 1. They are both extremely kindhearted: they care about others more than themselves...which means that they will always take care of each other. No matter what. 2. They had a strong respect and trust for each other...which I believe, is the most important part of a relationship...nothing says stability like lasting trust! 3. They made each other happy in really difficult times of each other's
lives. etc.

Okay, so I guess what I'm getting at here is that Stefan and Elena would be the couple to last if this were real life...but it's a teenaged vampire show. And Ian Somerhalder sells/ get viewers. I think Paul Wesley is better looking though.

Really though, I just want the triangle to end. Both boys deserve love, so it's only fair that one of them gets the chance to get over Elena and move on. But our dear Julie Plec will keep this triangle going FOR-EV-ER though because that's the basis of the show/ she hates us all secretly.

What I hate the most about all this is that Delena fans and Stelena fans just can't get along. It's so stupid. I am not trying to offend anyone here, it is just my completely harmless opinion about a couple on a tv show.

but yeah #sorrynotsorry #Stelena5ever

Best Stelena Episodes:
1x01 "Pilot"
1x02 "Night of the Comet"
1x06 "Lost Girls"
1x10 "The Turning Point"
1x18 "Under Control"
1x20 "Blood Brothers"
2x06 "Plan B"
2x11 "By the Light of the Moon"
2x14 "Crying Wolf"
2x20 "The Last Day"
3x05 "The Reckoning"
3x06 "Smells Like Teen Spirit"
3x12 "The Ties that Bind"
3x14 "Dangerous Liaisons"
3x20 "Do Not Go Gentle"
3x22 "The Departed"
4x01 "Growing Pains"
(sorry season 4 is just so bad)
5x03 "Original Sin"
5x04 "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

The Mindy Project 1x07 "Teen Patient" (a gif highlight!)

I have recently discovered how to make gifs. They are magical. So magical, in fact, that I have decided to starting "gif highlighting" (is that a thing?) one great tv episode per week. I'm being predictable and starting with The Mindy Project. Teen Patient is not only my best friend's favorite episode but also one of the best episodes in the series--the amount of great one liners in this episode are astonishing...the writers for this episode are two of the show's best: David Stassen and Ike Barinholtz (who plays Morgan Tookers).  Enjoy the hilarity below.

Yes, Mindy. I would also rather read Iron Man than highly intellectual crap.

So Mindy has a teenaged neighbor named Sophia who is eager to grow up. Like, really eager. She reads intellectual books.

*ahem* I think we all know how you feel about Mindy's butt, Danny.

At the office, Danny has to deal with a lewd behavior complaint someone filed about Morgan "oogling" Shauna. Mindy knows all about that.

We didn't all spend time in Otisville, Morgan.

In their meeting, we learn that Morgan brings stray dogs into the office at night. And he likes to stare at beautiful things...but he promises to stop (in typical Morgan fashion).

slime...like from Ghostbusters?

Mindy goes to talk to Sophia and her boyfriend at school about sex, but she realizes she's not nearly as hip as she thought. Even though Ben, the sassy gay friend, wants Mindy as his doctor too (who wouldn't, right?)

beanbags...the constant struggle.

So it turns out Sophia and her boyfriend Henry are not ready for sex...big surprise...but why would they listen to a step-mom-aged woman who can't stay on a beanbag?

This is why we don't like Josh.

Sophia is mad at Mindy for interrogating her boyfriend, so she comes to lunch and interrogates Josh. Turns out Josh doesn't love Mindy the way Henry loves Sophia (surprise, surprise).

due in part to her 5th floor walk up

Back at the office, in an awkward turn of events, it was Betsy who filed the lewd behavior report because she's jealous of Shauna. Turns out all she needed was reassurance: "I think sometimes you just need your boss to tell you you look sexy!"

Not your best idea, Lahiri.

 Mindy decided the best thing to do for Sophia and her friends was to pass out free condoms during gym class. If you can't get them to stop, at least get them to be safe? (Maybe she should've handed them out in the parking lot after school.)

How about a slice? I'm starving.

Danny came to the rescue, of course. And we got to see them be all flirty in the school hallway which of course led to this...

Hang in there for 31 more episodes, buddy.

Sophia decided to wait, Mindy got slime, and Ben picked up right away on Danny and Mindy's smoldering sexual tension. Then, Mindy was kicked off the premises by the school cop.





Tune in next week for my next "gif highlight" (and I'll come up with a better term!)

*P.S: Did you not get any of these inside jokes? How dare you! Go watch this episode right away! Actually, just watch the whole show. 

*P.P.S: Sorry the format of this post is wacky...I don't know what I'm doing. 

Winter Is Coming (and it's been coming for 4 years now)

So I finished season three of Game of Thrones. Yes, I know. How did I just finish GoT? What is wrong with me? And yes, I already knew about the Red Wedding, so that wasn't much of a shock.
Anyway, season four premieres in about a month and a half (April 6th at 9pm), and now that I've caught up, and all the emotion and drama is fresh in my mind, I figured this would be as good a time as any to review what has happened thus far. Annnnd maybe intrigue some readers who haven't watched it before! It's only 30 episodes and really, really good...definitely worth the watch! 

Instead of recapping everything that happened in the third season I'm just gonna go ahead a do a rundown of my favorite characters and the characters that I hope are eaten by The Stark's direwolves or Khlaleesi's dragons. 

The Lannisters
Tyrion: Second favorite character right here and the only "good" Lannister. He truly seems to care about people which is amazing because no one ever really cared about him. He is strong, smart, and often a much needed comic relief. Of course the rest of his family would rather see him dead than have any power, so I wonder what kind of hell he'll be put through next season. Oh and he's married to Sansa of course, which I'll talk more about in a bit.

Cersei: Do I hate her? Do I feel bad for her? Do I admire her? I don't really know. I used to really hate her...but she doesn't have much control and she actually has to deal with the most disgusting son in all of Westeros. She may be rich and the queen regent but she doesn't really have anything or anyone. She's not a real threat at the moment, especially since the Tyrells arrived at Court. We'll see what happens next season.

Jaime: Dare I say that I like him now? The words taste icky in my mouth. But ever since he got knocked off of his high horse (literally?) and his sword hand chopped off, he's been a bit humbled. He also seems to care for Brienne (platonically--he's only ever been with Cersei...ew) but he's back at King's Landing now and I'm sure once he get's his hair cut it will be like his excursion beyond King's Landing never happened and he'll go back to being Cersei's little bitch.

Tywin: He's a jackass. Every single time he tells Tyrion he's worthless I want to take his little "Hand of the King" pin and stab him in the heart (is that too violent?). And he ordered the Red Wedding. How dare he. But he is devoted to his family--or maybe just to himself. I do appreciate that Joffrey and Cersei seem to be muted in his presence, but I hate how Tyrion has no respect or authority with him around.

Joffrey: He sucks. He is a misogynistic pig. I actually hate him more than I've ever hated any fictional character ever and I recently dreamed that Bran possessed a direwolf and maimed him while he was sitting on the Iron Throne. Every time he messes with Sansa I get soo mad. He is also a little baby and the scene where Tywin told him to go to bed and Joffrey kept whining that he wasn't tired was the greatest Lannister exchange ever.

The Starks
*R.I.P. Catelyn (even though I didn't like you), Robb, Talisa, and lil' Eddard (sorry had to do it).

Arya: She's a badass bitch. And I can't believe the amount of heartache she has endured. She is so strong and determined--she deserves at least some happiness. I hope her and Gendry can reunite at some point/ I hope Gendry doesn't die. She is extremely arrogant though. Like, too arrogant to last on her own. P.S. As much as I hate The Hound, why did she call Valar Morghulis on him? Does that really seem wise?

Sansa: She's pretty much a prisoner. Almost the same way Theon Greyjoy was a prisoner to the Starks. But she is married to Tyrion now and honestly, I consider her pretty lucky. He may be a dwarf, but he is a good man. Much better than Joffrey--and I think he'll protect her. I think Margaery will protect her too. She has been in worst positions...she just needs to grow a backbone.

Bran: I'm excited than he is honing his abilities. I don't even know what to call them but they are awesome and I'm pretty sure they are the key to everything and I also think that my dream about
Joffrey's death totally could happen and there is no way anyone could pin that on Bran.

Jon Snow: My poor Jon Snow. Ygritte was never good enough for ye (I'm sorry I can only hear anything about Jon Snow in my head in her voice). Look, she was good to start you off but you need a nice lady who will be loyal to you and not shoot you with arrows (I volunteer to be this lady). I'm just glad he's made it back to Castle Black with Tarly and the gang.

Now to two awesome ladies who don't belong in a tier
Margaery Tyrell: She is so great and manipulative (much like Anne Boleyn, her character on The Tudors, no?).  I wouldn't be surprised if she poisoned Joffrey herself, and no one would blame her (except Cersei) because she's put all of King's Landing under her spell. I love her...I hope I'm not being misled too!

Daenerys Targaryn: I put her in bold because she is my favorite fictional character that has ever existed. Maybe just my favorite person that has ever existed. She truly is the Khaleesi and the mother of dragons. Not to mention everyone is drawn to her (and rightfully so; she's perfect). The way she took Astapor was the greatest moment of the show so far. Of course, I am rooting for her to take back the Iron Throne--but there are no happy endings in Westeros.


People I don't really care about/ don't like: Stannis (I thought you were a tough king why do you take all your orders from Melissandre who is a total witchy creep...obviously I don't want them to take the throne--they rely too much on "sacrificing" people...they can all go away), The Lord of Light really just creeps me out in general...what a dark/ powerful religion...and Theon/ Reek (I used to absolutely hate him...now I think he has more than paid for his sins...poor guy...I hate torture).

*I know I've left people out but these are the main characters I think about. There are many more important people, I know.
 
I can't wait until April 6th. I'm off to go dye my hair bleach blonde and dress my dogs up like dragons.

I Will Go Down With This 'Ship: Couple of the Week

Are you kidding me? Of course after such a crazy episode of Pretty Little Liars last night, I must pledge my support to Ezria, making Ezra and Aria my couple of the week.

I know, I know. He's a pedophile, It's illegal...well guess what? It's a tv show. I obviously don't condone student/ teacher relationships in real life but this. isn't. real. They are (just about) the same age in real life, they have amazing chemistry, and they just love each other so much (well maybe Aria's not crazy about him right now). And yeah, Ezra's just straight up crazy. 

But Ezra is maybe not EzrA now, so that helps. That really could've put a monkey wrench in their relationship. I have an inkling that Aria will forgive Ezra (relatively soon) for his indiscretions and maybe he will help them ward off A with all of his creepy stalker info? Or maybe he really is A? I don't care I still think Ezria is endgame.

Anyway, they are one of the most steady couples on tv (despite all the crazy that happens on that show) which really says something. So steady, in fact, that I cannot possibly pick out all of the Ezria-centric episodes, so I made a video instead. If you don't ship them by the end of this video, you have no heart.

And yes, I did use Peeta and Katniss' theme from Catching Fire because I'm trying to make you all cry.

New TV you should all be watching: The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

eeeeeeeee! That is what runs through my mind every time I see Jimmy Fallon. He is just so cute and sweet and he really deserves to star in The Tonight Show.
Let's talk about his first episode:
Guest Stars Galore! Tina Fey, Stephen Colbert, Joan Rivers, Robert DeNiro (!), Seth Rogen, Mike Tyson, Lindsay Lohan, Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Kim Kardashian (with that smug little pose-y look she always has...why her? go away. we don't like you), etc.

Jimmy's first guest was Will Smith, who was very kind to Jimmy for his first show. He gave him good advice about always being kind to being and staying humble, as well as doing this hilarious bit with Jimmy:

Finally, Jimmy's first musical guest was U2. They did a really cool rooftop performance, but it was nothing compared to their acoustic performance of Ordinary Love feat. The Roots (!)

 

Overall, a great first show. And it's only gonna get better!  

edit: I actually like most of all that Jimmy is keeping around what made LNJF so great and incorporating it into the traditional style of the Tonight Show. 

Combined Review of Last Week's New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine because I'm lazy.

Sigh. I am listless because I miss The Mindy Project. All I do is sit and crochet and watch reruns (no I promise I'm not 80 I'm in my 20's).

I hardcore judge you if you don't watch this brilliant show.

What are it's renewal prospects? Better now that the almost-certain-to-be-renewed Brooklyn Nine-Nine is also suffering ratings wise in Mindy's old time slot (well it's also partly because of the Olympics but lets just forget about that). According to tvbythenumbers.com (a reliable and convenient site with a very mean cancellation bear just waiting to eat all your favorite shows), B99's ratings last week were 1.2 and 2.87 mil. That's just about on par with The Mindy Project...actually a little lower than the last two new episodes. What does this mean you ask? It means (I think) that Tuesday at 9:30 is a cursed timeslot on FOX. People stick around through New Girl but once 9:30 hits people are ready for bed I guess? I don't get it, whatever. Anyway, no one in the world should be watching the horrendous show that is Dads, yet it comes on at 8 so a few select people just watch it anyway because it has a prime timeslot. Here is my dream Fox comedy line up for next season: B99 @ 8pm, TMP @ 8:30, New Girl @ 9, and the show that takes Dads place (God willing) at 9:30. Fox will never do that though, because they want to give their new show a fighting chance, so I will also accept new show @ 8, B99 @ 8:30, TMP @ 9, and New Girl @ 9:30, because New Girl has been established as the Tuesday night comedy block favorite, meaning people will be more willing to stick around til 9:30 for it.

FOX execs: take this into consideration. Also, are you hiring? I am available.

Now onto reviews:

Sorry I just had so much to say!

New Girl "Sister"

yeah they kinda look alike, but Jess' sister is a crazy slutty hoe.

Didn't LOVE this episode. To be honest, I had a hard time paying attention. I thought the Bat Mitzvah subplot was more entertaining than the main plot with Jess and her sister (Linda Cardellini)...are we really supposed to believe that Jess was embarrassed to tell Nick about her sister? Jess, have you met Nick? UNREALISTIC. But it did lead to a cute moment with them at the end. Schmidt will always be my favorite, and him trying to land a Jewish girlfriend was hilarious and could've worked out if a drunken Nick hadn't taken it too far with the granny on the dance floor. Whatevs though, he belongs with CeCe, but I don't mind them taking a time out. Is Linda C really sticking around? How will this affect the Nick and Jess dynamic? Will she hook up with Coach?!

Brooklyn Nine-Nine "Full Boyle"

Jake, don't you dare clip Boyle's colorful wings.

What can I say other than HAHAHA. YES. Thank you, B99 writers, making Boyle's hilariously eager personality the main plot of an episode. Jake decided that in order for Boyle to keep his girlfriend, he needs to cool off and not go "full Boyle" on her. The problem is, Boyle is incapable of doing this because he gets giddy every time he thinks about her. Turns out, she likes him like that and she is the same way, so they got engaged at the end of the episode. Pretty fast right? And in an interrogation room no less. I know what you're thinking--what about Rosa?

Pretty Little Liars 4x20 "Free Fall"

There must be some correlation between hot-ness and evil-ness, cuz DAMN.

This episode was appropriately titled...it was like a free fall of emotions in my heart as I watched Aria ugly cry and reject Ezra (who is not A, but still pretty creepy?) I mean, come on, the security code to his cabin is B26 for God's sakes! He loves you so much Aria! Can't you forgive him for obsessing over Ali (like y'all have been for the past 4 seasons?) The girl is a crazy bitch. Maybe I'm not weirded out by Ezra because the fact that he is writing a true crime novel is much less creepy than the alternative. He is "following" the liars around, but that's because they are basically unraveling the mystery for him, and obviously he didn't want them to know the truth, because well, he ended up falling in love with Aria. Unless this is all a cover? Only time will tell.
Time has officially revealed that Spencer is totally crazy. This isn't the first time our resident psycho

It's druggie chic.

has had a problem popping pills. She can't tell the difference between reality and her delusions, and she's lying to Toby and her friends. Also, she looks like a straight up zombie. Maybe Ezra really was worried about her? That would be nice. Part of me thinks that the reason Toby signed that Radley release form has something to do with protecting Spencer. Does Radley have some serious dirt on her maybe? And the Hastings has paid them to keep quiet? I think there is a lot more going on with her than we know right now. Is it possible that Ali is afraid of Spencer? Do you think that she has blackouts and does bad "A-like" things during them? All of these questions are circling my mind. PLL has taught it's viewers to question everything--and I love that about the show.

"What angsty music should we use for Spencer's intervention?"

This show is finally advancing at a steady pace--every week is a new revelation and it's awesome. I can't wait to find out more about Ezra and Spencer.

PS: I always believed you weren't A Ezra; I forgive you. If Aria doesn't forgive you I'm available. 

Sorry. It's been a while...

but that's because I wasn't really jazzed about any tv last week. Pretty Little Liars was strictly filler, and just about everything else is on hiatus. New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine were new--I may do a sort of combined renewal/ ratings analysis of those in a bit, because Nine-Nine was great last week.

Anyway, part of the reason I've been slacking is because I picked up a new (and kinda nerdy) hobby: making fan videos!
Here they are in all they're glory:

Danny and Mindy- XO (Beyonce)

Multi-couple- All of Me (John Legend)

Yes. I know what you are thinking. I am super cool. And you are right. ENJOY! :)

I WIll Go Down With This 'Ship: Couple of the Week

A bit of a throwback here (not really though...this show premiered in 2007 and ended in 2012), but the couple I've chosen for this week is Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl. 

They were never really a will-they-or-won't-they couple--they hooked up in 1x07- "Victor/Victrola", and it was a hot hookup! From then on, they had a strong following from the Gossip Girl fanbase.

They never really tried to change each other, but love did end up warming the philandering Chuck Bass' heart. They were both manipulative and devious and always at their best working together. Not to mention they had killer chemistry.

Their biggest problem (which seemed silly to me) was that they couldn't achieve their goals together--so they got unofficially engaged (Blair wore the engagement ring around her neck) and waited until Chuck took down his father (or the series finale) to get married.

Best Chair-centric episodes:
1x07 "Victor/Victrola"
1x08 "Seventeen Candles"
1x18 "Much 'I do' About Nothing
2x13 "O Brother, Where Bart Thou"
2x25 "The Goodbye Gossip Girl"
3x12 "The Debarted"
3x22 "Last Tango, Then Paris"
4x07 "War at the Roses"
4x22 "The Wrong Goodbye"
5x11 "The End of the Affair?"
5x13 "G.G."
5x24 "Return of the Ring"
6x01 "Gone Maybe Gone"
6x09 "The Revengers"
6x10 "New York, I Love You, XOXO"
*There are so many more great Chair episodes, I just don't feel like listing aaallll of them.

If you haven't seen this show, you should give it a shot. I mean, they are all spoiled and it's pretty outlandish, especially for us mere mortals in the middle class, but it's fun to watch (mostly because of Chuck and Blair).

In Case You Missed it: Cancellation Edition

X Factor (USA) has been axed after 3 seasons. Good Riddance. That show was boring and I know I'm not the only one who's sick of Simon Cowell's inflated ego, stupid sheer v-necks, and weird hair.

I'm surrounded by idiots. I shouldn't have quit AI!

Let's take a look back at The X Factor's biggest hits:
-Remember when Simon brought back Paula as a marketing tool but all of her acts were the first to be kicked off? So she was fired, again?
-Remember when L.A. Reid was the guy who signed Justin Bieber so we just didn't care about anything he had to say?
-Remember when they brought in Demi Lovato and her and Simon were too flirty and it was just icky?
- Remember when Steve Jones hosted (who?), and then Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez co-hosted (yes that really happened), and then it was just Mario Lopez?
-Remember when Britney Spears judged for one season and awkwardly sang Happy Birthday to L.A. Reid?
-Remember when Simon Cowell mocked Demi Lovato's substance abuse in the most recent finale?
-And remember the two randos they brought on as judges this season? (wasn't one Scary Spice?)

Taking this lovely trip down memory lane only further cements my happiness that this stupid show was cancelled. I only wish that Simon Cowell did not have the everlasting satisfaction that he "created" one of the most successful boy bands of all time.

Go away Simon, we don't like you anymore.

PS: American Idol, you're next. 

The Vampire Diaries 5x13 "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

Sorry it took me forevs to review TVD; I've become apathetic. Also, I am annoyed at the title of this episode--a cheesy and predictable title for a (now) cheesy and predictable show.

If only he knew this was Katherine.

Okay I guess I should review it now. I'm gonna go ahead and break it up into the good(ish) and the bad.

The Good(ish):
-Caroline seems to be getting over her embarrassment/ heartbreak in a very Caroline way: shredding pictures of exes and attending a fancy college dance that she forced her friends to attend. Then she vamped out to help Bonnie, which is always good.
-This is no new revelation for longtime TVD watchers, but Nina Dobrev is a very good actress. She seemlessly transitions between Katherine and Elena. Without Katherine's subtle eyerolls and general disdain of everyone but Stefan, this episode would've sucked.
-I always like to see Stefan 1) Kick some ass (or at least threaten too) and 2) Care about and protect his brother. We saw both in this episode.
-Tyler and Matt actually being smart for once and figuring out what Nadia and Katherine are doing! Way to go!

totally surprising and brand new plot twist

The Bad:
-Everytime Elena hurts his feelings, Damon feels sorry for himself and becomes the villian again "because that's who he is, why should he be anything different?" *yawn* Where's seasons 1,2, & 3 Damon? The Damon that didn't take any shit? He was "bad" and sarcastic and fun! Now he's just an annoying lovesick puppy who let's a 19 year old girl control all of his thoughts, emotions, and actions. What a baby. Not to mention he did some really terrible things this time--all on purpose...his emotions are not off! Getting sick of Damon, to be honest. (Sorry Delena shippers!)
-Sick of Jeremy and Bonnie at this point, too. They are both plot devices. Bonnie is the witch whenever anything goes wrong or the writers get too lazy to fix something, so they just make a silly spell. And Jeremy is always used for leverage (how many times has this guy died??). Over them.
-What a way to "reignite" the love triangle JP! (jk) This isn't actually Stelena, and it isn't Steferine either so neither ship can be actually happy here. Also, I don't appreciate Stefan getting played--I hope he wises up before anything major happens.
-And of course, when Elena inevitably "reemerges", she won't remember any of this. She'll go back to Damon, which is fine, but he is seriously such a baby now, he needs to let go of Elena for a little bit and find the balls he lost. I just can't even. I have to stop.

Ugh. I'm done.

Reign 1x11 "Inquisition"

BEST. EPISODE. YET.

"Let down your hair" (you look old with it up)

I swear this episode had so many revelations and shockers that it felt like a season finale (thank God it's not!). Spoiler Alert (obvi): I always thought that Clarissa might be a deformed and disregarded child of Catherine, but I figured Henry was the father which is why their relationship is so strained, but boy was I wrong(ish)! Catherine had/ is still having (?) an affair with Viscount Richard Delacroix! Turns out the stress of not being able to conceive an heir for the King your first 10 years of marriage can really take a toll--so she decided to find "comfort" elsewhere. At this point, King Henry has all he needs to annul Catherine and sentence her to death (despite their sexy tryst) especially since she tried to kill Mary. I'm sorry Catherine, you are diabolical and pretty awesome (in some ways), but I'm pretty confused, first you ask Mary to save Francis by letting him go and now that she has she's pissed off again? I get that you don't want to lose your position as Queen but make up your mind woman!

Okay, now on to Mary and Bash.

No it's okay I only love your bro a little bit more than you

Let's all collectively sigh over the dreaminess that is Sebastian de Poitiers. Just wow. If he said even half of the things he says to Mary to me, I'd be jelly in his protective arms. Like, "My only interest is claiming you"?? How dare you. I'm legitimately a pile of feels over here. I know, I know, Bash is a fictional character, she ends up with Francis but omg how can you not like these two--at least for
now! Mary's "heart is open" now, so let's see how this relationship develops. Actually, my guess is not too far. Francis is back next week and Torrance Coombs (Bash) has shared several pictures of Bash chained up and beaten. I don't know if my heart can take it! But for now, let's enjoy the fact that they seem to have (albeit temporarily) incapacitated Catherine, and thrown off suspicion of Bash's Pagan ties. P.S Did you see the way Bash and Mary embraced after he pulled her out of the tub? Swoon!

I honestly don't know how the next episode can top the amazingness that was this week, but I am sorry Francis fans...two weeks without him? That's rough. Don't worry, he'll be back soon enough to reclaim everything. But not before the creepy Clarissa kidnaps the little princes and takes them out to the woods to "raise" them...see you February 27th!

oooh ooh one more thing, Frary fans, if you are still reading, which you probably aren't this review was Bash heavy, remember, when Mary and Francis get married he dies very shortly afterwards. I would think that y'all wouldn't mind the prolonging of their relationship...unless you want Francis to die? Right, didn't think so.

Viscount Richard Delacroix

Viscount Richard Delacroix

Brooklyn Nine-Nine 1x16 "The Party"

Cozner not Costner

Excited by an invite to Capt. Holt's birthday party from his husband, Kevin Cozner, the Nine-Nine does their best to act like civilized normal people at their "first adult party".  Jeffers relayed the rules of an adult party to his cops (No shorts! Bring wine! Educated small talk only!) but it is just too hard for them to obey. Santiago goes on a recon mission throughout Holt's house trying to find information to bond with him, Peralta's goal of the evening is to get on a nickname basis with Kevin (or Kev) by discussing The New Yorker (which he doesn't read), Hitchcock and Scully are mistaken as a gay couple, Gina became a subject for all of Holt's psychologist friends ("She's a complete overlap of ego and id!"), Boyle became cougar bait to another foodie, and, obviously, Jeffers tried and failed to keep any of his group in line ("Don't move as a group! You're not gazelles!").

source: daily99.tumblr.com

This craziness ended in a revelation, by Jake no less, that Kevin hates cops--he believes they are all homophobic. Obviously that's not the case with the Nine-Nine, but he is just protective of his husband, who was never respected by cops in the past. It turns out that Holt actually likes his crazy coworkers and wanted them to come to the party--who knew!

Since the precinct ruined Holt and Kev's party, they made it up to them by renting out a popular restaurant for just the two of them, which is what the couple would've preferred in the first place. How nice! Scully even sang for them!

This was probably my favorite episode of the season; how much more fun would your parties be if the Nine-Nine was there?

New Girl 3x15 "Exes"

ménage à awkward

Nick Miller is right. Exes can't be friends; one is always more wounded than the other, or still in love. Every time I hear about exes getting along I am flummoxed. Yes, flummoxed. As much as you would want to remain friends with Adam Brody, you can't (why would you ever break up with Adam Brody?)

In order to patch things up with a fragile Caroline, Jess suggests Nick try to be friends with her, because she is such good friends with her ex (jk lol he loves her). But, you guessed it, things went horribly awry: Caroline destroyed Nick's car (not his car) and Berkley professed his love to Jess. But the episode still ended perfectly; Nick admitted that the reason he and Caroline couldn't work out was because he fell for Jess the moment he met her. Yes, it was beautiful. Jess and Nick are so adorable and the writers are doing a perfect job at keeping their relationship compelling and fun while keeping them together (which is a very hard thing to do!) Kudos, Liz Meriwether!

Schmidt was my favorite part of the episode last night, though. He's lost his mojo living by himself. He doesn't know how to converse with girls anymore--only grapes (and cry with them?). Cece suggests that he try and get some more human contact, so he gives Coach and Winston keys to his place (big mistake). They are horny and insane, why would you ever give them full access to your bachelor pad? This obviously culminated in all three men (I use the term loosely) trying to hook up with women in different areas of the loft at the same time. Of course, it was a disaster. But it did help Schmidt out of his slump so...mission accomplished? I wonder how much longer Schmidt will be living by himself? Is it possible that Jess and Nick will be moving in together soon and Schmidt, Winston, and Coach will become roomies?

A hilarious episode, and a great follow up to the craziness that was "Prince".

Pretty Little Liars 4x18 "Hot For Teacher"

A wants to speak with you after class.

OKAY. I'm finally willing to admit it: maybe Ezra Fitz really is A.

PLL is usually a very slow moving show with lots of almost reveals but mostly just the girls wandering around pursing their lips, flipping their perfectly curled hair and acting scared. This season, however, has been an entirely different story; ever since Ezra was revealed as A the show has been progressing rapidly. We now know that Ali and Ezra dated (well, kind of), Shauna and Ali were besties when they were kids living in Georgia, and Spencer has hopped back on the crazy train. Also, like I've always thought, Hanna is actually the smartest. And is Ali actually in love with Emily? What is up with that?

Ezra gave Aria some dreamy speech at their secret cabin (aka A's secret lair) that they need to be the most important person in each other's lives and always tell the truth, but obviously they are both lying to each other so their relationship is literally a ticking time bomb. Which is a shame because I still ship them. I'm really hoping Aria can get over this whole your-boyfriend-is-a-psycho-stalker-maybe-murderer thing. He's just so cute. And who knew Ian Harding could play sinister so well? He is actually the best bad guy yet.

Moving on to Spencer. Gurl, you are totally crazy. And I'm talking legitimate crazy; like you need an actual prescription to make you right in the head. She has gone insane uncovering the mystery that is EzrA Fitz(gerald), but I do hope she keeps going because I need to know what his deal is. I just hope the Emily and Hanna can help her out now.

Your 10th addy is free!

Hanna is the most intuitive of the bunch. Forrealz. She knew something was up with Spencer and followed her gut all the way to Spencer's not-password-protected computer. Way to go girl.

And finally Emily, oh Emily. You care more about Alison than anything else, so of course you helped the still shady Shauna get money from Alison's room. But before Shauna could deliver the money to Ali, she was knocked out or something. But by who? It couldn't have possibly been Ezra because he was on his weekend getaway with Aria. He must have a helper.

Now back to Ezra one more time. Not only must he have a helper, but infinite amounts of money, intelligence, and resources, which makes me think there might be more to the Fitzgerald family than meets the eye. Is it possible he isn't pulling the strings? Could he just be following orders? Only time will tell.

Overall, a pretty exciting episode of PLL. Next week is a noir-style ep which translates loosely to filler. So yeah, I guess we'll have to wait two weeks for any more revelations. 

I Will Go Down With This 'Ship: Couple of the Week

So, like most sane people I have about five billion OTPs (you don't know what an OTP is? How dare you. It means one true pairing; please brush up on your fangirl jargon). I have decided to spotlight one ship a week and talk about what makes them so great. Hopefully my arguments will be so persuasive that you will also ship them by the end of the post.

In honor of the smokin' hot last 30 seconds of it's winter finale, my first ship of the week is...Danny and Mindy from The Mindy Project. 

Any spot can be romantic from "Harry & Mindy" 

Nobody watches this show. I don't know why. It pains me. Chris Messina is a sex god. Mindy Kaling is all of our spirit animals. Do your self a favor and binge watch the entire show in the next 3 days. 

Okay moving on, Danny and Mindy are the perfectly imperfect couple that hasn't actually happened yet. They bicker and argue but they are best friends. Every time we catch them stealing longing glances at each other (okay that's mostly Danny...Mindy's oblivious), it melts our hearts. Also, if a man ever choreographed a dance for me I would be his forever...after I got over the initial awkwardness of watching him dance for me. 

The sexual tension built slowly in season one; most of their interaction built up a strong friendship that did not exist before the show, but season two has been a sexual tension bullet train. 

"You've Got Sext" (credit offcolortv.com)

Danny realized he had romantic feelings for Mindy in 2x08: "You've Got Sext" and finally made his move in 2x14: "The Desert". All the while Mindy was romancing the better-before-they-started-dating Cliff. But something tells me Mindy is going to forget all about Cliff after that kiss. *fans oneself just thinking about it*

Don't compare them to Nick and Jess or Sam and Diane; they are Danny and Mindy. They are unique. They are realistic and fun--their relationship is light and humorous and still gives you all the butterflies of a well written will-they-or-won't-they couple.  I can't wait to see what happens next!


My favorite 'Dandy'-centric episodes:
1x01 "Pilot" (Danny's "Man" speech? Perfect.)
1x05 "Danny Castellano is My Gynecologist" (Unlamplike feelings)
1x14 "Harry & Mindy" (romantic pizza)

"The Desert" (credit jbaggles.tumblr.com)

1x18 "Danny's Friend" (Staten Island)
1x20 "Pretty Man" (shower scene...don't get too excited)
1x21 "Santa Fe" (all of it. just all of it.)
1x24 "Take Me With You" (you got some shmutz)
2x01 "All My Problems Solved Forever" ('you know what I thought you always looked good in?' excuse me while I go cry)
2x08 "You've Got Sext" (all of it, again)
2x11 "Christmas Party Sex Trap" (THE DANCE)
2x12 "Danny Castellano is My Personal Trainer" (once again, all of it.)
2x14 "The Desert" (all. of. it. but especially the last 3 minutes)

The Mindy Project returns April 1st with two new episodes on Fox!

 One more gif for the road. (butt grab anyone?!)

(jbaggles.tumblr.com)