The Mindy Project 2x20 "An Officer and a Gynecologist"

He gives out tickets like it's candy, but we forgive him because look at him.

So sometimes it takes me several viewings of The Mindy Project to, not only catch all the jokes, but to fully digest my feels regarding Danny and Mindy. Also, on a second viewing I'm usually less focused on Danny and Mindy so I can enjoy other aspects (yeah I know I have problems). Think Like A Peter was not one I was itching to watch a few times, but tonight's episode was great; lots of laugh out loud moments, and plenty of delightfully awkward moments, too.

I don't even know how to caption this I'm too emotional

I think it's a good idea that Mindy swear off men for a bit (even if it's only one episode) because she has legitimately dated more guys than I think I've ever even met. But then again, if I was the creator and star of my own show, I would want to make out with all the hot guys I could, as well. That heartbreak box was perfect and filled me with a mixture of sadliness and happiliness, if only because of that picture of her and Danny. Also, how perfect is it that Morgan snuck some pictures of Danny and him in there as well, because they broke up too. Man, breaking hearts everywhere, Castellano!

Speaking of Danny and Mindy,  they were talking/flirting again this week and THANK GOD, because last week was torture. These two just have such a great chemistry together in every way--some sort of banter between them is necessary for a good episode. Also, I love it...don't get me wrong, but why does Danny always need to be "reminded" of how much he loves Mindy? He made those beautiful dreamy heart eyes at her throughout the entire episode, yet he still thought he was better off with Sally? I know he is scared of messing it up with Mindy and losing her forever, but why did it take the Rabbi saying it out loud for him to break it off with Sally?
Bye Sally, as I said I like you as a person (love you on Reba) but the finale's two weeks away and I have Ephron-sized hopes for it. 

Let me continue with Danny by saying that this was one of Chris Messina's funniest performances on the show to date. Almost everything he said was hysterical. From trying to nail down the Jewish lingo ("Don't listen to this [looks down at phone] meshuggener!"), to impersonating the terminator ("I'll be back"), to the whole Harry Connick Jew incident, Danny was just on fire tonight. I find it funny that Chris Messina doesn't think he's a good comedic actor--it actually seems to come very naturally to him, but maybe that's just because he's a great actor in general. And while I thought Peter and Mindy had a great chemistry, it's possible that Danny and Peter have an even better chemistry. I have really grown to love Adam Pally/Peter. I just wish the writers could come up with a way to include Jeremy in every episode, as well.
Finally, let's talk about Detective Charlie Lang. He's not a guy--he's a man! (A lovely callback to quite possibly my favorite monologue from the entire show, Danny's "was he a man?" speech from the Pilot). He's dreamy and tough; according to Mindy Kaling, he is supposed to out-Danny Danny. This, of course will drive Danny crazy, especially now that's he's broken up with Sally and ready to win Mindy back. But hey, fairytale endings at the top of the Empire State Building, on an airplane, in a doctor's lounge, or at an H&R Block don't come easy you know?

A couple of very important side observations:

-Morgan is Mindy's servant boy and I've never loved anything more.

-I would really like to know more about "Susan Robbins"--is that a series finale sort of reveal or can we get an episode that centers on Beverly's past?!

Game of Thrones 4x03 "Breaker of Chains"

While some episodes/arcs seem to race through time, I get the feeling that this season of GoT may move very slowly. Which is understandable, especially when they have an episode that touches on all of the major characters. I get the feeling Daenerys will be in Mereen for a while (seriously, is the last episode of this show gonna be like “Welp! We finally made it to King’s Landing! Dragons, kill everyone”?), and we may actually wait a fortnight for Tyrion’s trial.

Father/Daughter bonding time.

Let’s talk about warm, loving, and appropriate family environments; our subject today will be the Lannisters. When your oldest son is lying dead on a table, here are some things you should do: pray for him and your family, cry with your family, talk about memories involving him, etc. Here are some things you should not do: talk to the dead guy’s little brother about being a better king, raping your sister on/right next to the table where the dead kid is, threaten to kill the only sane member of the family, etc. I thought I liked Jamie at this point; I was willing—well, trying—to look past the fact that he sleeps with his sister and pushed Bran out a window, but he’s still as insane as ever. And he raped his sister. I know Cersei is manipulative and icky, but she didn’t seem to be enjoying herself. Still, Cersei is using Jamie’s devotion to her to target Tyrion and Sansa, and she’s twisting things to make Tyrion seem guilty.

Of course Little Finger was behind (at least some) of the attack on Joffrey. He is so manipulative—I’m actually terrified for Sansa’s safety right now because he had such a sick obsession with Catelyn. I can’t imagine why else he would go to all the trouble of poisoning Joffrey. I suppose we’ll see the rest unfold in the coming weeks.

      Things are bleak at Castle Black (oh man! See what I did there?). The wildlings are actually disgusting creatures taking over everything and there aren’t enough members of the Night’s Watch to take them on, but they’re still gonna take them anyway, because what’s 100 wildings for every crow, you know? And poor Tarly, Gilly, and little Sam. He loves her. He just wants to protect her, but he’s probably just putting her in more danger. Which is really sad; can’t they just go off and live in domestic bliss?

      While I thought Arya and the Hound were getting along with this fun little game they were playing to get free room and board, he had to go be a jerk and steal the nice man’s silver. That was a terrible thing to do, but he made a good point: they live in a corrupt world, playing by the rules won’t get you anything but dead.  But Arya is starting to get to the point where she could protect herself, and I would not want to be on her bad side.
      Finally we spent about 3 minutes with Daenerys. I do enjoy it when episodes end epically with her, but we never see her for more than a few minutes! Maybe if she got more than 15 minutes of screen time a season, it wouldn’t take her 10 years to get to King’s Landing. Anyway, Daario is a dreamy badass. I officially like this recasting. And how cool is it that shackles were in those barrels? Tie those scoundrels up, slaves of Mereen!

Scandal 3x18 "The Price of Free and Fair Election"

If we stare at each other intently maybe Jake will go away.

Damn I hate cliffhangers. I mean, I love them, but I hate them. Tonight's episode of Scandal was flat out the best one I've ever seen though.

Let's start small(ish). They're gonna kill off Harrison. Columbus Short has legitimately gone insane; I can't imagine Shonda keeping him around. It's like, remember when Robert Downey Jr. got fired off of Ally McBeal for getting back into the drugs (or at least getting caught for it) even though he was the best character on the show? Well Harrison isn't even the best character on the show, so I think we can expect a description of his death but no body in next season's premiere.

Turning into St. Sally was probably the best political move I've ever seen, and it was also kind of gratifying to see Cyrus' plan blow up in his face (bomb puns!). Actually, the best political move ever is having the incumbent's son die of bacterial meningitis the night before the election. Thank GOD Cyrus was not behind that. I wasn't surprised at all that it was Rowan; he's way too smart to go down without a fight, but I just wish Olivia knew she was (kind of) being played. I mean, I think she and Jake could totally go off and live in the sun together and they would be fine, but what about everyone else she loves? Fitz is literally having a breakdown. On the presidential seal in the Oval Office.
I realllly really love Fitz. and Mellie. It's so weird. Half of the time I find myself rooting for them, but
I love Fitz and Olivia. And I kind of ship Jake and Olivia. Basically I'm just so confused watching this show and I love every minute of it.
EXCEPT HUCKLEBERRY QUINN. NOPE. JUST NOPE. I hope he reunites with his family because that 7:52 episode was very tragic and also I hate Huckleberry Quinn (did you know that?).

These reactions are accurate.

I am so glad that Fitz found out about Big Jerry and Mellie. And he handled it in an honorable way. Yep, you stay with your wife who was raped by your father. Even after you give a sweet little speech to your girlfriend about wanting to marry her and live in Vermont (and again with the damn jam!). And I have to admit, I was kind of hoping that Fitz wouldn't win the election so they could all kind of wipe the slate clean. Also, even though he won, it still wasn't really a win on his own merit. Fitz still doesn't have the satisfaction of knowing that the United States voted for him based on his ability to lead.

BONUS PIC! To the right is a twitpic of Tony Goldwyn and Scott Foley's reactions after reading the finale script. 

With a set up this great, I'm sure season four is going to be awesome, and Kerry Washington won't have to hide behind strategically placed objects anymore!

The Vampire Diaries 5x18 "Resident Evil"

Ugh. This hurts me.

BEWARE: THIS REACTION IS PRO-STELENA AND KIND OF RANTY. 

The internal struggle: do I hate this show? Or do I love it as a whole despite all the little things I hate? I started this episode knowing it would be soul-crushing. I am a Stelena shipper; I will always be a Stelena shipper. I can't really see them ever getting back together, so it was nice to have one episode with some alternative reality fluff. They are actually so cute it makes me want to throw up, and Damon and Elena annoy me so much that it makes me want to throw up. I'm sorry that I'm so biased in my reactions of this show, I just think that Stefan and Elena are much better suited for each other and this constant recall of how things could've been if Stefan and Elena were "normal" is painful. What hurts the most is how upset these two were when the visions ended; everything about them was perfect. All they've ever wanted was to be normal and in love. Why wouldn't they give it another shot in real life? As Stefan said, when they were together, they were really happy.
I'm so glad that "universe" theory has been debunked, though. That was a load of crap.
Here's what I absolutely hated: Stefan told Elena, "I think you can either be friends with someone or in love with them, I don't think you can be both." I call bullshit on that one. I think the main criteria for being in love with someone is that you consider them your best friend. Yeah, maybe when you break up, the friendship becomes awkward, but I don't think either of those things just stop. I don't think Stefan is over Elena, and he's mature enough to be her friend. As usual, the nice guy finishes last. Yeah, he was a deadly ripper for 100 or so years but I feel like he's made up or that at this point.

While this season as a whole is slightly better than last season, it's possible that the traveler storyline is worse than the cure storyline. When Damon feigned that yawn while Markos was talking, he represented the entire TVD audience. At least every character is being utilized, though--maybe I'm alone here but I really like Tyler, and I hate it when he's randomly gone for 10 episodes. For some reason he's always turned into some sort of villain, but I suppose that's better than nothing. Also, how many times does Matt have to die before that ring stops working? Because I'm pretty sure he dies every other episode.

I'm ready for the season finale and we haven't even been introduced to the main conflict or the season climax. I'm sorry I'm just ready for a new storyline. I don't like Markos; he is not a lovable villain. I miss Silas. Speaking of Silas, Paul Wesley did a pretty good job with his directorial debut. I feel like it's totally obvious that he hates his job and the scripts so they let him direct an episode in an effort to keep him content. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, Paul! 

Here's the promo for next week. It focuses on Enzo's relatively boring search for Maggie: 

Reign 1x18 "No Exit"

Troubling times in Fraryland.

Queen Mary, Queen Mary let down your long hair. Was that too cheesy? She is locked in a tower...and by her own husband! Francis may have a lot to learn about being a loving and protective husband, but I can see where he's coming from. Something is veeerrryy fishy about James and I am glad Mary didn't follow him back to Scotland. I mean, Mary's gotta go back there at some point because when you're the Queen of a country you should probably at least visit it every once in a while, but she needs to go back on her own terms.
I don't really think Mary and Francis can ever be truly happy together, because of their allegiance to their respective countries. They put country before love. Ugh it makes me so glad I'm not in politics.

Kenna and Bash are becoming a ship that I don't really wanna ship...but I kinda wanna ship...and I can't help it I just ship them anyway.  They have this nice mutual respect which has helped them form a strong friendship. I think this friendship could slowly turn into love. Part of me wonders if this is it for Bash and Mary shippers...like they are just phasing them out and phasing Banna? Kesh? in. But love triangles are The CW's thing, so I assume we haven't seen the last of Mash. But back to Bash and Kenna, they've had a pretty natural progression and I like it a lot. I can't imagine them leaving French Court anytime soon, but at least they have something to their name now.

Julian and Lola are very adorable. His speech about facing the uncertainty of the world together? Swoon. But he is obviously poor, and maybe an orphan, so I'm interested to see how his dishonesty will affect their relationship. Also, I love most of the music on this show but I could've done without the instrumental version of 'Royals' during their reception. So cliche...
And poor Nostradamus will never be happy for more than five minutes...but I assume this will not be the last we see of Olivia. Also, how cool was it when he cut the head off that snake?! (very Neville Longbottom-esque)

Finally let's talk about the Mad King. Henry is actually so insane that it cracks me up...a little bit in that I-feel-awkward-right-now-I'll-just-laugh sort of way but he's still funny, nonetheless. It was so smart of Catherine to push him over the edge with the crucifix symbolism. If he still has anything, it's his faith (and his sex drive), so it was diabolical (do we ever expect anything less?) of Catherine to pin any and all dark influence on Penelope. I can't wait to find out who these ghosts are that keep tormenting Henry. Was I mistaken or was the last guy we saw holding a tennis racket?

Here's the Canadian promo for next week's episode, "Toy Soldiers", I'll update later with a better quality CW trailer:

The Mindy Project 2x19 "Think Like A Peter"

More charming as Schmidt or Deputy Leo

Don't think like a Peter; think like a Mindy. Tonight Peter finally learned--while watching Mindy get crushed further in the process--that he can be kind of a dbag. I mean, I personally think that it is completely unnecessary for Mindy to get over Danny. He's not over her; let's patch this back up real nice and put a bow on it. But she was filled with sadliness, and I guess hooking up with Max Greenfield is an appropriate way to overcome that. The only thing is, Lee also thought like a Peter and if everyone thought like a Peter no one would ever have a stable relationship. So, think like a Mindy and leave your diamond earrings on your ex-boyfriend's night stand for him to return to you at the top of the empire state building during the season finale (*crosses fingers*).

Turns out Danny is also filled with sadliness. He wanted to keep his friendship with Mindy in tact but he ended up destroying it. So he gives terrible advice to Tamra and Morgan instead. Let their love bloom in that pantry, Danny! You have no room to be giving romantic advice. I was really hoping that he would come clean to Morgan about his relationship with Mindy...can you just imagine how he would react?! One of my favorite character traits of Morgan's is that he has this sort of obsessive love for Danny (don't we all?), and I can't imagine this fight lasting very long. Sally, you are just a rebound please go away. It makes me sad that I am literally incapable of liking any of Danny or Mindy's romantic interests, because I usually really like the actors playing them, but they are just in the way!

EDIT: Danny's been getting a lot of hate for how he broke it off with Mindy, but you have to remember how damaged he is. He doesn't think he can sustain a successful relationship. And Brooke didn't help encourage him either! He loves Mindy too much to break her heart, and he thought it would be easier on her to break it off early. It's good that both characters are getting some time apart to realize how strong their feelings really are for one another. Danny's going to learn from this and so is Mindy! Come on, every romantic comedy has a conflict!

Only three episodes left in the season. And it literally just came back. But I cannot wait for the finale, so that's totally fine. Fox is really lax about releasing promos so we probably won't get one til Thursday or Friday, so here's a video I made about Danny and Mindy last week because I'm a masochist.

New Girl 3x21 "Big News"

Careful Winston, the last man to sit on the Iron Throne choked to death on wine.

I cannot get over the weirdness of this break up. I mean, I know it's New Girl and everything is outlandish and silly and fun, but Nick and Jess were actually consoling each other about it! You guys obviously love each other just work it out! There is not enough justification in this situation (ahh too many long words!) for it to work...to be honest, Jess is pretty immature too, she just has a job. The Dirty Dancing references also just hurt too much because it just made me think about my favorite New Girl Scene EVER: when the boys sang "I've Had The Time of My Life" to Jess in the Pilot. Nick and Jess singing "Hungry Eyes" at the end was just a poor imitation.
I am so glad Winston passed his Police Academy exam, because I honestly can't handle the weird storylines he's had lately (mainly involving Ferguson the cat). I think he could be a really funny cop, and it will be hilarious to see his roommates try to take advantage of his connections. As long as he gets to keep the job.
Schmidt remains my favorite part of this show. Everything that comes out of his mouth is hilarious...which can usually make up for a relatively mediocre episode. Don't get me wrong...I still enjoy this show. I just think there is such a thing as too silly, and this show has crosses that line often.

PS: Can someone please throw me a honey roast I need the self esteem boost.
EDIT: My best friend saw this and actually wrote me a honey roast and sent it to me in the middle of the night, so when I woke up this morning it was the first thing I saw. Isn't she just the best?!?!